Why I haven't been writing as much...

As some of you may have noticed, I haven't been as prolific in my writing as I normally am. You see, there has been a lot going on in the house that has needed my attention.

The big news has to do with the Mom. As you know, she has been working at the library part time and has agreed to teach two classes this fall. I'll miss having the Mom around as much but this is something she wants to do so I'm ok with it. The biggest concern with the Mom going back to work has been her disability. She knew that with both these jobs she would be making more than was allowed and was going to accept that 'cause she thought if things went wrong, she could go back on disability via an expedited way. Just to make sure, she went with the Dad to the social security office in Paterson (a really bad area too) to find out the details. They told her that if she goes back to work she'll lose all her benefits and if she got sick again, would have to apply the hard way (which takes over a year). The Mom really got upset and I had to spend the day keeping her company and trying to cheer her up.

The Mom spent a couple of days thinking about it and said she's going to do it. She said something about the universe giving hints (whatever that means) and maybe it's time to just give it a try. As she put it, it has been nine years. I'm going to stand by the Mom's decision but that doesn't mean I'm not going to worry about her. I've seen her when she was at her sickest and I don't want that to happen again. Just in case, I'm preparing an emergency fuzzy kit full of purrs, headbutts, and cuddles for the Mom.

Secret Paws Goodie Bag!!!

I got my Secret Paws goodie bag from Puss! I would've posted this two days ago but the Mom didn't get in late Monday night, which means she didn't bring the mail in until late, and she wouldn't let me open it until yesterday morning. Then Blogger was farting on me all day yesterday. Bah.

So anyways, I got this great package from Puss (who needs to blog more! *wink*). The Mom was kind enough to put me on the kitchen counter away from most of the Brats and she even locked the Doofi up in the bedroom so I could have some peace...



Of course that peace didn't last long. Here came Frankie...



He then dropped feather ball on the floor so Bailey got it...



And then...and this is really amazing...there was a rare sighting of Bomber outside the bedroom. Sightings of Bomber have never been officially confirmed so even the Mom was surprised he showed himself. I guess that was some really good nip.



Thanks for all the fun Puss!

Kitty horoscopes

I was browsing through some other kitty blogs and saw a link to kitty horoscopes over on Leif and Bonita's blog. So, I decided to check it out. Since my birthday is unknown, the Mom gives a guestimate of September 15 'cause I was about eight weeks old when she got me, which makes me a Virgo. Let's see what they have to say. My comments are in blue.

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Virgo: The Kitchen Cat

The Virgo Cat is the near-perfect domestic cat. [well duh...] Governed by the most malleable of all Zodiac Signs, this will be the creature closest to the ideal feline pet. [duh again] Thorough and conscientious in everything this cat sets his or her mind to, the Virgo Cat is a joy to have around...except when he or she is being critical. However, laziness annoys this feline more than anything and any owner who is not up with the birds, preparing breakfast for the Virgo Cat, will be left in no doubt as to what this feline thinks of such slovenly behavior. Physically, the Virgo Cat possesses an intelligent yet critical expression which can create a dismal appearance. [so this is where I get the Evil Eye from, eh?] From behind and in profile, this will be a handsome cat and to those who can ignore the disdainful sniffs and raised eyebrows, this feline can be attractive. With a wiry body and strong, muscular build, this cat is athletic and agile. Most of the time, the Virgo Cat will worry his or her owner to death from continually trying to do too much. Indeed, this is not a totally unfounded fear since, every now and again, the Virgo Cat will suddenly collapse upon the carpet, apparently breathing his or her last. Fortunately, this turn of events does not last long and the Virgo Cat is soon back in action. [well we are great actors] This feline is also a victim to allergies in many instances and the tender skin of the Virgo Cat often reacts adversely to flea powder. To have a feline ruled by Virgo as a family member is something like having a little guilty conscience who will continually remind his or her owners of where they are going wrong. The Virgo Cat is fussy...particularly when it concerns food...and when the supper bowl is placed upon the floor, this feline's expression seems to ask: "Is it pure?" Nothing which comes out of a tin will be satisfactory...nor will leftovers. [I'll eat Stinky Goodness but only the best Stinky Goodness] Only freshly-cooked fish or chicken will be tolerated, and then only when it is delivered with thoroughly-scrubbed hands. It is essential that the Virgo Cat be served his or her meal in the same place and at the same time every day. [so true...] He or she will also react in a negative fashion to any sudden change in diet, and harsh smells (such as air fresheners or cleaning chemicals, for example) will often bother and offend the Virgo Cat. [Other Brats tend to offend the Virgo Cat as well]

This feline is fanatical about keeping clean and may spend more time preening than any other cat in the Zodiac. There are times when the Virgo Cat tends to drive his or her owner to the point of distraction, but banishment to the garden might ease the situation somewhat. Outside, with nature at paw's reach, this feline will forget all his or her problems and hang-ups. Birdwatching or other type of nature study will quickly relax the Virgo Cat, while giving the owner some breathing space at the same time. [outside is overrated. Been there, done that, bored with it] However, it would truly be foolish to expect this feline to catch any mice. The Virgo Cat is hopeless when it comes to hunting and would much rather play than kill. [hmph...I've killed a few mouses in my life. I am a great huntress no matter what they say] Most relationships involving the Virgo Cat are basically shallow. He or she will be too concerned with planning upcoming moves to develop deep feelings, unless the companion in question happens to be a dog...the Virgo Cat adores canines [what freakin' planet is this person from? I freakin' hate dogs. Big dumb drool monsters] and has even been known to prefer dog food to fish. [ya, right. I don't think so]

A dog governed by Capricorn makes the best companion for this feline [again, what drug is this person on?]...in much the same way as a Capricorn human usually proves to be the most sympathetic owner [my Gemini and Pisces ones do just fine thank you]. The Virgo Cat also relates well to those ruled by the Sign of Taurus. If there is no room for a dog in the family, then a Taurus-governed parakeet will provide the Virgo Cat with hours of amusement [or lunch]...leaving he or she with less time to nit-pick at the behavior of an owner. Being intuitively aware of what is needed and more than happy to oblige [ya right...NOT], the Virgo Cat is a perfect companion for the blind and hearing-impaired. It is not unusual to find this feline perched upon a sunny windowsill, where he or she can keep a careful eye on the little feathered fellows visiting the feeder. [and show me a cat who doesn't do this?]

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Hmmm...I'll take most of what this person says with a grain of salt. They got the perfect, smart, and handsome parts right but the rest is something out of a bad acid trip. Me like dogs? Ya, right. And I love to spend my days playing with the Brats, sharing my toys, and jumping in the bathtub to have the Mom give me a water bath. Geeze. I should give the person who wrote this a good thwap upside the head.

MY squillion

Guess what? My squillion Naranja came yesterday! I finally have an ally against the Brats and she's all mine. Thank you House of (Mostly) Black Cats and their mom for sending Naran to me.



And here's the link to their mom's jewelry site so you better go visit it 'cause she's a nice human.

On a different note, the Mom decided that she's not only going to be working at the library, but she'll be teaching TWO classes at the college. It will affect her disability but she really wants to try to get back to work. I'm proud of the Mom 'cause I know she's scared about going back to work but she is still going to try. Go mom! Also, she really wants to save money so we can all move to a bigger place (and where I can possibly have my own room away from the Brats). Just as long as she makes sure to buy the really good Stinky Goodness for me with some of that extra money I'll be happy.

Busy Mom

The Mom has been busy lately, which is kind of annoying to me. I mean, how is she supposed to devote all her attention to me if she's doing other things? Doesn't she understand that I'm the priority here.

Anyways, the Mom got not one but two jobs. She said "when it rains, it pours" whatever that means. The first job she got is as a library assistant. She does love books so that would be the perfect job for her. I don't know why she loves those things so much. There aren't any moving parts or anything else fun to watch with them. I know 'cause I tried to see what she was staring at. The only thing I found they are good for is sleeping on but the Mom doesn't do that. Well, except really late at night when she sometimes falls asleep with the book, but she doesn't sleep on it just next to it.

The other job is teaching a college class at one of the local colleges. She's really excited about doing this. So am I. That means she brings out all her really fancy clothes, which are nice and soft with cool fabric, the night before and I get to sleep on them. I don't know why she gets mad when I do that but why would she put them out the night before if she didn't want us to sleep on them?

I just hope that she remembers I'm number one when she's home and I want her to make up for any lost attention time.

You don't call...you don't write...

I know, I know. I haven't written in a week. Honestly? I just haven't been in the mood to write. It happens sometimes. The Mom calls it "writer's block." I just call it "no mood to write." Why do humans have to give such fancy names to simple stuff? Go figure.

Anyways, I've been tagged by quite a few folks so I shall get off my tush and fill out the questionaire....

Here are the rules of this tag: The player of this game starts with "5 weird things/habits about yourself ". In the end, you need to choose 5 people to be tagged and list their names. The people who get tagged need to write a blog about their 5 weird things/habits, as well as state this rule clearly, then tag 5 more victims. Don't forget to leave your victim a comment that says "you're tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

Five weird things and habits, eh? Hmmm....

1. "Happy Tail" - When I'm in a really good mood, I make "happy feet" on my tail. I find it very comforting, while the Mom says it's just too cute. *rolls eyes*
2. I don't like my ears touched. For the past five years or so, my ears have been really sensative. The Mom doesn't know why nor does the V-E-T. No mites, no junk in my ears, my eardrum is ok, no problems. However, whenever my ears get touched, I paw at them like crazy.
3. The tip of my tail was broken when I was a very young kitten so the last bone in my tail is at a 45 degree angle.
4. I love chewing on plastic bags. I can't remember the real reason why I started, but I do it now to drive the Humans nuts.
5. I have mastered the art of the Evil Eye.

OK, now is there anybody left to tag? It seems like everybody has done this. Well, if you haven't done this yet "TAG! You're it!"

Mwuahahahaha

Well, the Annoying One is suffering. The Mom couldn't find a low-fat Stinky Goodness so she decided to just stop giving him any moist food. It is so nice to eat the Stinky Goodness all by myself (well, Frankie too but he's not annoying) and hear the Annoying One whining from the bathroom where the Mom has to lock him up while I eat. It's such a pleasant sound. Ahhh.

And yes, the Mom said that I need to gain weight. I have kitty Irritable Bowel Syndrome so I lost a lot of weight and the Mom is trying to fatten me up a bit. I don't mind though 'cause this means more Stinky Goodness for me.

Update on the Annoying One

The Mom spoke to the V-E-T today and it looks like the Annoying One is healthy. All his blood levels are good so it's not a hyperactive thyroid or anything fatal. Dr. D. thinks it's either that his food has too high a fat content, which is giving him the squirts, or he has what I have: annoying bowels. Wait? What? Oh sorry...irritable bowel syndrome. Ya whatever.

This can be a good thing for two reasons. The first is that this means he won't be getting prime Stinky Goodness any more. The Mom will have to give him less fat (thus less tasty) goodness. Ha. The second is that if the change in the food doesn't work, he'll have to take a pill twice each day just like me. Either way, he suffers. Ah my day has gotten so much brighter.

Uh oh...

They say bad things come in threes, right?

This morning, the Mom took the Annoying One to the V-E-T. For me, that's not a Bad Thing 'cause it means he's out of the house for a while. However, he has been sick. He's got what I call the "squirts." Not only does he have diarrhea, he makes this "squirts" all over the place, especially when the Mom picks him up. Personally, I think it's the most hysterical thing 'cause he makes the noises too.

But the Mom is afraid he might be really sick which is why she took him to Dr. D. Now, Dr. D. is a nice lady but her assistants are the torture wizards with the shots and stuff, so I had to feel bad for him. Dr. D. thinks he may have a hyperactive thyroid 'cause he lost a lot of weight too but he's eating up a storm (I should know 'cause he always tries to steal my food). We'll know more tomorrow when the blood tests come back.

The second Bad Thing is that the Mom has started her rounds of baths. Tonight Bailey got it. She's the one who gets the most baths 'cause she's too fat to clean herself and she's a big poof ball. Usually if she's only going to do a couple of us, she does it all in one night. This time, though, she only did Bailey and mentioned that she'll bathe one of us a night until we're all done. This means I'll be getting a bath. YUCK! I'm a cat. I don't need to have water baths, but the Mom has it in her head that I'm getting yellow. Bah.

OK...

...maybe it is too hot. The Mom told me that yesterday a bunch of records were broken 'cause of the heat. New York City hit 102 and Newark hit 100. That with the humidity meant that it was like an oven outside. The Mom even opened the door to have me feel how hot it was outside. It was YUCKY! Ack. She said I should appreciate the fact that we have a/c and can keep cool. Fine. I concede. However does she still have to keep it this cold? There has to be a nice medium somewhere. Bah.

You want to do WHAT?!!!

You would think after 15+ years on this planet that I might have the Mom figured out. Ha. It's bad enough that she's trying this exercise thingie and in the process hurt her knee, but now she's looking to get a...GASP...job. Oh why? She doesn't have to work and she seems to have fun doing the school thingie, but now she feels like she needs to do more. Her thinking is that if she gets a job, even part-time, it will help us get a much bigger place to live in. Well, that's a good idea, but does it have to involve work? Geeze.

Personally, I think it's a terrible idea. Beside the fact that I hate anything that involves work, I'm afraid her depression will kick in and make her sick again. Also, while she explained that she only wants to work a few hours a week, that means there will be those less hours for her to keep the Annoying One and the Brats away from me. I am so against this work thing it isn't even funny. The Dad works and that should be enough. The Mom needs to stay at home and take care of me and serve me. Isn't that what they are supposed to do?

We're having a heat wave...

...but you couldn't tell in our house. Noooo. The Mom and the Dad have all the a/c cranked up on high to keep the house "cool." Hello? It's freakin' freezing in here. I need to curl up under the dirty clothes in the laundry basket to keep warm. How is it that these hairless apes are always so hot while my fur-covered self is always so cold? Makes no sense.

On a lighter note, the Mom hurt her knee exercising. She's not sure what she did but she's been popping a lot of pills and talking about seeing the human V-E-T. She must be in a lot of pain 'cause a) she hates taking pills, and b) she's not too fond of the human V-E-T either. I keep telling her to just sleep for a couple of days and she'll be fine but she never listens to me. Silly human.

Why bother?

The Mom recently joined a gym in order to lose weight. So now she's going every couple of days to do stuff that makes her sweaty and stinky and causes her pain. Why? Why do humans torture themselves constantly by "working out?" Can't they just be happy with the way the gods meant them to be?

Personally I don't like the fact that the Mom is trying to lose weight. I like her just the way she is: comfortable. She's got lots of padding that is comfy to sleep on and to make happy feet on. If she lost this weight, she'd be all skin and bones. Who wants to curl up with a skeleton?

So Mom...give it up already. You're just causing yourself a lot of grief and pain when you can just stay at home and make a really nice pillow for us fuzzies.

Secret Paws

The Mom went out and got all these cool kitty toys, including lots of nip. I was about to dive into the bag when she stopped me. "No, Ayla. Those aren't for you. There for your Secret Paws pals." Bah. What? I get no Nippy Goodness? What kind of evil woman are you?

After about five minutes of me giving her the Evil Eye she finally bowed down and gave me a catnip ball. She claimed she "bought extra" for us, but I know deep down inside that no human can overcome the Evil Eye. This technique is one of the many reasons that us cats are superior to those hairless apes.

Oh ya...she'll be mailing out the Secret Paws gift tomorrow so someone should be on the lookout for their goodies soon.

The Dad's New Job

The Dad left for work this morning for his first day at his new job. It's about freakin' time. I knew he got the job but he went so long before starting that I was afraid my constant supply of Stinky Goodness was in jeopardy. Don't scare an old girl like that!

Another nice thing about the Dad working is that he gets up early again, which in turn means the Mom gets up early. You know what that means, right? I don't have to wait as long in the morning to get my Stinky Goodness. Whoohoo! I like the Dad working. Keep it up!

Snarky-ism of the Day

To protect your ideal place on the Big Sleepy Spot when a human approaches, lie on your back and act all cute. Then, give a purr-filled meow with a loving look at your human. They will be so ridden with guilt about moving you that they will occupy a different spot instead.

Inconsiderate...

...little snot! This morning as I was enjoying my Stinky Goodness, the Annoying One came over and started eating out of my bowl. I wasn't even done yet! What's worse is that he still had food left in his bowl. Thankfully the Mom was there to yell at him and I was able to finish my breakfast. All I know is that if he does this one more time, he's going to get a serious thwapping.

Note to the Annoying One:

Even if you think I'm done with my food, do NOT sneak over and try to eat the food left in my bowl. If you do, I will go back and start eating again even if I'm full. You will not get my food.

Helping Brandi's Mom

I know how hard it can be to be in a house when the human isn't working. Luckily, the Dad and the Mom are only going to have to suffer a month without the Dad working.

Brandi's mom isn't so lucky. Her mom has been out of work for a while so Oreo and his mom are working out a way to help her out. Please visit his site and do what you can for them. Thanks!

Present for Kukka

Since today is Kukka-Maria's one year blogiversary, I knew I had to get her something different and special. Since she liked the Pillow Monkey so much, I went out and got her one. Here it is Kukka!



Sorry about the fuzz on it. I tested it out first to make sure it was comfortable enough for you.

Happy Blogiversary Kukka!

Note to The Mom:

The pillows are mine. Not yours, not Loki's, not the Dad's. Mine. M-I-N-E. If I'm there first, you may not do anything to remove me 'cause...well...I was there first. And they are mine.

Oh ya. And the Pillow Monkey? He's mine too.

An Update on the Dad

Well, it looks like I won't be begging on the street for Stinky Goodness. The Dad has gotten two job offers, both of which will pay enough to keep me comfortably rolling in the nip and Stinky Goodness. I was getting really worried when the Mom said that she almost bought me the store brand of Stinky Goodness to save money. Ack! That just isn't right.

I know the Mom is happy about this. She's the one who handles all the money and she kept on getting really sad looks after paying all the bills. I haven't seen that look in ages. Along time ago, before the Mom met the Dad, she was really poor. She had lost her job 'cause she got sick with the Depression and her disability checks barely paid the rent, nonetheless anything else. I remember she even put her own needs aside, including food, to make sure we were taken care of. We didn't have Stinky Goodness back then, but she made sure we always had food in our bowls. I never want her to go through that again.

Anyways, I've gotten used to a certain standard of living and those two humans better make sure they keep it up.

Now this...

...is more like it. The Mom left all the windows open and finally turned the a/c off for a few hours so the temperature is somewhat bearable. Here is a picture of me lounging around on the Dad's pillow on the big sleepy spot.



Oh no. Aw come on Mom. Don't turn the a/c back on. It was just getting nice. Noooooo....

Monkee!!!

Get out of my basket. It's MINE. Not yours. Mine. Go away.

Yes mom...

...I purposely ate too fast so I could throw up on your clean socks.

Geeze.

Enough already...

...with the crash-a-booms.

I know it's a holiday where humans love to play with their boomie thingies, but it's been four days already. Enough is enough. The Mom explained to me that today is the official holiday, so I asked her why the booms have been going on since Friday. "Well, each town celebrates on different days." Why? That's kind of stupid. Isn't the holiday only one day? "Yes, but it has to do with town regulations or something like that." OK, fine then. So who is regulating the kids in the neighborhood running around with the really LOUD boomies? How is a girl supposed to get in a good nap if she's woken up every fifteen minutes by a loud boom? Geeze.

To top it off, it seems like Mother Nature wants to join in on the act too. We had some really loud crash-a-booms with lots of rain earlier. That didn't help my nerves either, which have been totally fried since Friday.

This is a stupid holiday.

You would think...

...that with the Mom being sick (again), that the stupid humans would turn off the air conditioner. But noooooo. "It's too hot outside." Hello? You're sick. Do you know what that means? You need to keep warm and get fresh air into the house. In order to do that you need to turn off the a/c and open the windows. Difficult concept? I think not.

At the very least, it is too cold in the house for us kitties. Even though we have fur coats some of us do get cold. So if you're not going to do it for yourselves, than at least turn the darn a/c off for us. OK? Don't make me throw up a hairball on your pillow.

TUNA!!!!

The Mom made a tuna sandwich and guess what? She not only gave us bowls of tuna water, but she left a bunch of tuna in bowl so we could all have some. Whoooohooo! The Mom never does this. Ya, she'll leave some lickings in the bowl, but never a whole bunch. She says that we needed some spoilin' after she heard about Tiffy. I love the Mom.

Now I'm Mad....

The Mom was updating some of my favorite blog links when she showed me the story from 5 Cat Style and the Flyer. It seems that a really stupid and mean human decided that a kitten was too much of a hassle and brought it to the SPCA, lying that it was a stray, and poor little Tiffy was put to sleep. The Mom was crying when she read the story and me? I'm just plain mad. How can some stupid human do something like that to a cute innocent kitten. OK. So she was pooping in "inappropriate" spaces. Hello? We're animals. When we do stuff like that it usually means we're sick or trying to make a point. You don't put us down for something that small. Heck, I constantly poop just outside the litter box just to get back at the Mom for making me live with eight Brats. Do you see her running me off to the shelter to get rid of me? No.

Personally, I wish there was some way to lock people like this up and put them down. It's only fair. If they have no compassion for someone as cute as Tiffy, well they should be slung up from their privates and all the cats in the area should be able to use them as a scratching post for the rest of their lives. Nah. Even that's too nice for them.

I'm going to hug the Mom and be thankful I have people who care for me.

A Good Thing

I have discovered a very Good Thing: grilled Stinky Goodness. The Mom picked it up the other day as a "change of pace" as I was getting really sick of the stuff she tried feeding me. Oooh is this new grilled Stinky Goodness yummy! I want more. GIVE ME MORE!!!

OK

If you're going to keep the pillows in anything other than a perfectly flat horizontal position, then you'd better expect me to yowl right in your ear until you fix it.

Hmph.

The Dad has been getting phone calls from recruiters for the past two days so things are looking good in that area. The Mom is still sick but she's going on line and helping the Dad find jobs to apply to. This is good 'cause when the Dad finds a job that means the Stinky Goodness keeps on coming in, right? Right.

However, there is a big problem with all of this. While everybody is focusing their attention at getting the Dad a job, they are ignoring me. Hello? Aren't I the most important person in the house? I can forgive the Mom part of the time 'cause I really don't want to be near her when she's throwing up. But still. They are completing forgetting my existence. I need more than just food you stupid humans. I need to have attention lavishly poured on me. Why can't they seem to get this. Hmph.

Bad Week

This is a really, really bad week for us right now.

First, the Mom got a really bad stomach flu She has been sick since Monday night and is still really weak. I guess twelve hours of pooping and puking will do that to a human. I've been sitting watch with the Brats, keeping an eye on her. This is the one time we don't hiss or fight 'cause the Mom is too important to us.

Secondly, the Dad got laid off from work today. This isn't good. It means no Stinky Goodness for a while so I'll just have to make do with the dried stuff. Blech. The Dad is really stressed out though and all of us are worried he'll get sick too. Two sick humans would be really bad. Then again, this job had been making him sick anyways 'cause his stupid bosses were working him too much, so maybe this is a Good Thing in disguise. We'll see.

Now I'm Mad....

It's bad enough that the Mom forgot to go to the store today to get Stinky Goodness so I'll be without for 24 hours. I do have dried food, but that's not the same.

The two humans went out to dinner for steak and THEY DIDN'T BRING ANY BACK HOME FOR ME!!! Can you believe that? Considering that I did not get my Stinky Goodness at all today, they should've bought an entire filet mignon home for me, but did they? Noooooo. How rude. What do they bring back? Salad. What the heck? I may just have to poop on their pillows now.

Frankie

Frankie is home and seems to be recovering well from his little ordeal to the V-E-T. A little too well if you ask me. Last night he actually tried to sleep on the Mom's pillow. I don't think so. It's bad enough that I've been forced to share it with the Annoying One. There is no way I'm going to allow one of those big moose cats to take my spot. There just isn't enough room. So, I taught Frankie a lesson and gave him a good whap upside the head. That got the point across. He may be deaf but he's not stupid.

One down...

Well, Frankie's gone. The one Brat that I actually like has left. Bah.

Oh wait...what? He's coming back? Damn. I was hoping that the Mom was slowly going to start getting rid of the Brats with the newest one going first. Oh well. Supposedly Frankie has some health problems, including bad teeth, so the Mom brought him back to his old family so he can see his old V-E-T. She said that he'll be back tomorrow night. And here I thought I would start getting the place to myself. Double bah.

The Mom has been spending the afternoon procrastinating. She doesn't want to do her homework so she spent her time reworking the "Flock O' Fuzzies" blog. She says it's still a "work in progress" but you can visit it at:

http://www.hockeycat93.com/blogs/flockofuzzies/index.html

Why she doesn't spend time spiffing up my blog is beyond me. Heck, more of you humans read my blog. Bah. Well, at least she got rid of that stupid pink color.

Sleepy Day

Usually it's on rainy days that everybody sleeps but today I think everybody is wiped out.

The Mom is out like a light. She had a really rough week with her depression and school. I know she's been doing a lot of reading and spending time at the computer. The class she's taking is online which she vowed she's never going to do again if she can help it. So, I'm just letting her sleep. The poor thing needs it. Also, it's the least I can do since she didn't once forget to give me my Stinky Goodness.

Frankie is all wiped out too. He went to the V-E-T today. One of his eyes is dialating more than another and that has the Mom all freaked out. The V-E-T did a whole bunch of blood work that came out fine, but he still has to go in for his ears to be checked and to get a chest x-ray. For a Maine Coon, he's an ok cat so I want him to be healthy. He's the only Brat that's smart enough to leave me alone.

As for me, I'm just glad it's not raining today. My bones needed a break. All this dampness has been a serious pain in my tush. Literally. The Mom said it'll be nice over the weekend so I'm looking forward to three days without the arthritis acting up. Yippee.

Um ok...

Something has got the Mom really ticked off. Since last night she's been going on about some guy Conklin and what a stupid idiot he is. Anybody know what this is about?

[The Mom: go to my blog and you'll see what I'm ranting about]

Oh. Hockey? Again? Doesn't this sport ever end? It's almost summer for pete's sake. Doesn't the ice melt?

Oh ya...

...the Mom says "Go Oilers!" whatever that means.

Ya, ya...

I know, I know. I'm sorry. I've just been feeling like poop lately. It seems that Mother Nature wants to wreak havoc on my poor old bones. Winter was bad enough, but then it started getting warm and I started to feel ok. Then, for the past couple of weeks it started feeling like August already with it being too hot and way too humid. Can't an old girl get a break? I just want warm and not damp. Is that too much to ask for? Bah.

On top of that, the Mom has been hogging up the computer again. She is back at school taking a summer class. Geeze. She just graduated and now she's back at it. One of these days she'll take my advice and just nap all day long.

Anyways, she's taking a class in criminology. I asked her what the heck that was about and she said it's about finding out why people commit crimes. Boring. Honestly, I think what people need to do is nap more often and enjoy a few ounces of catnip every day. Hey, it's legal and there's a large supply of it so it's not like you need to go out and steal it. Plus it makes me feel very happy. The Mom just turned around and laughed at me. Did I miss something?

Well this sucks

The Mom has decided that Frankie, the newest Brat, is going to have Stinky Goodness with me and the Annoying One. She said that he doesn't have many teeth left so he needs the softer food. Bah. You know what this means? I've got to fight another cat for MY Stinky Goodness. This big doof is just as bad as the Brats. The minute he's done scarfing down his food, he sticks his nose in my bowl trying to eat my food! I did thwap him a couple of times to get the point across, but no.... Bah. I yearn for the day that I have the Stinky Goodness all to myself.

Photos of the Mom's Graduation

The Mom wants me to post up some photos of her graduation, so here they are:


This is the Dad and the Mom


The Mom with her silly mortar-board thingie.

Thank you!

The Mom decided on the "Another Degree, Another Loan to Pay" for her mortar board. She asked me to thank all of you for the really great ideas that made her decision even harder.

Last night she had an awards ceremony because she received an academic award in animation. I asked her if she got any Stinky Goodness out of it but she said all she got was a bad dinner and a stupid piece of paper. And she got all dressed up for that? Bah.

Today is her graduation. The Mom doesn't seem to happy about it. I think her depression is acting up 'cause I know she was jumping up for joy when she got her silly black robe and hat. She says it's 'cause she doesn't like the crowds and it may rain today, which would mean everybody would be jammed up in the gym. Hundreds of smelly humans in an already smelly place? I wouldn't want to go either. She should just stay home and give me pets. Ya, that's it. Then we'll both thwap the Annoying One. That always makes me feel better. Hmmm...maybe I'll go do that now.

::prances away to thwap the Annoying One::

Need some ideas...

The Mom is graduating from college...again...on Friday. I say again 'cause this is her third degree. She seems to be collecting those as well as cats. Anyways, she has decided to be silly and write something on her cap. She's a little up in the air as to what she wants to do so she asked for my help. Personally I would just write "Give me Stinky Goodness" on it but she said nobody would understand that.

The degree she's getting is in Computer Animation. Here are her thoughts so far:

• A Dream Come True
• Another Degree, Another Loan to Pay
• w00t (whatever that means)
• 4 teh win!
• You can never have too many degrees
• Professional Student on board
• So much time, so little to do

Let me know what you guys think or if you have any other suggestions.

P.S. The Mom corrected me saying that she's going to paint this on the mortar board part of her cap. Supposedly this is some stupid tradition that goes back to when she got her first degree.

Another Brat?!!!

Oh lord help me. The Mom and Dad came home with yet another Brat. Like we need any more? The Mom explained that the ladies who gave us our Maine Coons were moving and needed to find homes for their older cats. The one they wanted us to have is Moose's brother, Frankie. Now normally I would have to poop on both their pillows, but I really liked Moose and I miss him dearly. Maybe this Brat won't be too bad if he's anything like Moose. Also, he's 10 years old so I really don't have to worry about kitten antics with him.

So welcome Frankie to our ever expanding family...

Knew it was too good to last...

Well, the Annoying One is back to his old antics. I knew it wouldn't last long enough.

Now, you guys need to know something: I wasn't mean to Kukai in any way shape or form. I've had dental work done myself so I know how yucky it can be. Also, he truly wasn't suffering since the Mom made sure that he had some good pain killers. But just because he was miserable, it didn't mean I had to be miserable as well. While he was cowering in the living room, I was prancing around the house, enjoying my freedom. I didn't have to worry about him pouncing on me or trying to steal my food. It was pure bliss.

And it lasted one whole day.

Now, he's even WORSE than he was before. I don't know what the V-E-T did to him but he's happier now and even more annoying. Yes, it is possible. Bah. He's more vocal and he's doing his little rabbit hopping imitations all over the place. Plus, he's taking my spots again. Double bah. The Mom is estatic, saying that his teeth must have been really bothering him before they were removed. She also said the $1,000 she paid for his dental work--the V-E-T's around here aren't just evil but expensive as well--was well worth the money. She should speak for herself.

And of course, the Mom had to take a picture of the two of us. She said it was a "rare moment in history" because we weren't whapping each other.

Oh, and it gets worse...but that's another story for another day. I'm going to hide in the closet for a bit.

Poor Kukai - NOT

Yesterday, the Mom took the Annoying One to the V-E-T. When he came back, we found out that he not only had his teeth cleaned but also had seven teeth removed! Even though the Mom made sure to get pain meds for him, he really is miserable.

What does this mean for me? Happy days! Whooohooo! The Annoying One is going to leave me alone and I'll have my pillow all to myself. *does a little happy dance* A girl knows when to take advantage of a situation.

Why?

Why do humans torture themselves so?

You would think that after all the hell the Mom put herself through with school these last few months she would take a break. That would be smart, right? Well, the Mom is being stupid again. This time, she stopped taking her sleepie medication. She has this weird thing called insomnia which means she can't sleep. Thankfully us cats don't have that problem, eh? So her human V-E-T gives her this special sleepie medication to help her. She takes it every night but she says that after a while it stops working so she has to not take it for a few days for it to work again. Unfortunately, this means that she doesn't sleep for those few days and she gets really forgetful and cranky.

The last time the Mom did this, she forgot to give me my Stinky Goodness a couple of times. This time, I'm making sure she doesn't do that again. The minute she wakes up, I'm in the kitchen reminding her very loudly to feed me my Stinky Goodness. The Annoying One is helping as well as he's even louder than me. There is no way that she could miss our reminders.

P.S. Thanks to all of you who commented in my last post. It was nice to be reminded that I do have a lot of friends out there. Just don't tell anybody I told you that. I have a reputation to keep.

Goodbye Sweet Friend

Today I just found out that sweet Norton has crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I didn't know him very well but from what I've read about him, he was a great cat and an even greater friend. You will be missed sweetie.

It's always so sad to read about friends passing. I lost my best friend so long ago. His name was Xanadu. He was a big dumb tabby but had a heart of gold. When the Mom brought me home as a tiny sick kitten, he took care of me, keeping me warm and protecting me from Boo Boo. He crossed the Rainbow Bridge in 1998. Then, my other friend Moose passed away last year. People wonder why I'm so darn grumpy. I've lost all the good friends I've had in my life.

Where have I been?

Ah yes, I've heard that some of you have been worried about me since I haven't written in so long. Thank you for your concern but I'm just fine. If you're going to yell at anyone, yell at the Mom.

For the past month, she has been hogging the computer doing her animation and rendering, whatever the heck that is. I say "it would be nice if you let me use the computer every once in a while" and she just ignores me. I then say "it would be nice if you let me get my own computer" and she just laughs. She laughs. Bah. She did say that the semester ends today for her so I can use the computer as much as I want now 'cause she's sick of seeing it. Well if you're so sick of it, why don't you just give it to me? She laughed again.

Is there some sort of joke I missed?

A Blessing

Today, the Mom did the laundry. I hate laundry days 'cause I lose my nice sleepy spot in the basket and it takes days for it to fill up again to a really comfy level. You understand my annoyance, right?

Well, today something strange happened. When the Mom came back from doing the laundry, she put the basket back in the closet and then put clothes and sheets into it. I must've had a shocked look on my face because she said "Mommy has too much laundry to do in one bit so I did half today and will do the other half on Monday. Enjoy." I just couldn't believe it! I don't have to suffer through the weekend with a sparsely filled laundry basket. Oh my. I'm just so estatic I don't know what to do.

Ah, I know what to do! Where's the Annoying one? *prances away to give him a good thwap*

Silly humans

Finally I get to use the computer. The Mom has been hogging the thing up for the past four days doing her animation. I don't know what it is except that she has to finish some kind of project for some kind of festival and it's due tomorrow. All I do know is that she has been so busy working that I haven't seen much of her for the past week. When she is home, she's tired and cranky. I hate it when she gets like that 'cause she tends to tends to forget my Stinky Goodness.

The Dad hasn't been much better. He's been working all this overtime lately that I haven't seen him either. He claims that all this work will help us out somehow. Unless it gives me more Stinky Goodness and pets, I don't care.

What's worse is that with them not home much, the Brats have the run of the house. Not a good thing 'cause they think they own the place, especially the Doofi. Loki has even started sleeping in the laundry basket. The Mom tells me that it's only for another couple of days but I'm starting to get seriously pissed off. Bah. They better give me lots of pets to make up for this.

Apologies

OK. The Mom said I went a bit overboard yesterday in my post about the Annoying One. Bah. She even made me apologize to him. Double bah. What does she expect? I'm tormented by him day-in, day-out, so what do you want me to do? Give him kisses? I don't think so.

Speaking of tormenting, the two Doofi really went off their rockers this morning. They were running all over the apartment, knocking things every where. Boy was the Mom pissed! She was complaining it was bad enough they were losing an hour sleep (don't know what that's about), but the Doofi woke her and the Dad up really early. Hello? Welcome to my hell. What do you think those two Brats do when you go out? They just don't sit there all cute. The Mom should've named them "Destructo-Brats."

An enjoyable day

Guess what? The Mom took the Annoying One to the vet yesterday. Oh it was so nice not having him in the house for the afternoon. Of course, the Mom got all mad at me for gloating. She said the pest had an eye infection and needed his shots. HA! Nasty injections and stuff put in his eye. Can this day get any better?

OK, it may sound like I'm being a bit vindictive but a girl has to enjoy the small pleasures when they come. I mean, this Brat has been a pain in my tushie for almost ten years. A girl needs some sort of revenge.

[The Mom: Ayla's going to the vet herself in a couple of weeks so she'll get her just due.]

Stressed Mom = Bad Thing

As the Mom puts it, it's "that time of the semester." I don't understand what it is with humans and school. They are dumb to begin with and schooling doesn't help. Sometimes I think they are stupid just to go to school. The Mom is a perfect example of this: she volunteers to go to school where she is forced to work constantly and study, endures tough exams, spends late nights writing papers, for what? A "grade." What the freakin' heck is a grade?

All I know is that after this thing called "midterms," the Mom starts stressing out over exams and papers. This, in turn, means she forgets the important things like giving me my Stinky Goodness on time. Also, she gets so full of this useless information that she even forgets my friggin' name. Geeze. Once I figure out how a good "grade" is going to get me more Stinky Goodness, then I'll understand why the Mom does that. Until then, I'm going to keep on thinking that she's completely nuts.

Computer-itis

I swear the new computers are sucking the brains out of my humans. Last night, when I jumped up on the bed behind the Mom, she reached out to pet me and said "hi Monkee." Um. Hello? Do I look like that doofus? To say the least I was insulted. She apologized to me by saying my "fur felt like Monkee's." Don't even associate my beautifulness with that dope. "Felt like Monkee" my ass. She's been petting me for sixteen freakin' years so you'd think she knew what I felt like. Bah.

Enough already

The Mom and the Dad spent most of the day with their new computers. They treat those bucket o' bolts like they were little children, coddling and cooing at them. How pathetic can you get? It's like they forget that those things are not alive and they turn around and ignore those of us that are. Yes, she gave me the Stinky Goodness this morning and my pills, but those stupid humans ignored us all day long. Bah.

So what's a girl going to do? Find her own form of entertainment, right? I walked around the apartment thwapping the Annoying One upside the head. Of course that didn't go over too well with the humans when they finally realized what I was doing, but what do they expect? If you're not going to entertain us, we'll have to find our own methods of keeping ourselves entertained. And I find thwapping Kukai very, very entertaining.

P.S. Both the Mom and the Dad said I can't have a computer of my own. She says she's worried the FBI will come knocking down our door if I was given full access to a computer. I have no idea why she thinks that. Oh well. I'll just have to poop on her keyboard to get my point across.

What's the big deal?

The Mom got a new computer today. She's running around all excited about it. I have no idea why. It's a stupid piece of plastic that doesn't do anything important. Whoopee-friggin-do-da. When I told her this, she said I was wrong (the nerve!). She explained that she does the finances, all her homework, and her animation projects on the computer so it's very important. To her maybe, but not to me. Now if it dispensed Stinky Goodness, THEN it would be important.

I'm sorry I haven't updated my blog in a while. The Mom has been hogging the computer since she got home from vacation. Supposedly, she is getting some projects done for a school film festival at the end of the month so she "needed" to use the computer a lot. Hello? Am I not important? I need access to the computer myself. A girl needs to rant, especially in these living conditions with the seven Brats. Now she's telling me that I won't be able to use the new computer until she gets it all set up, which could take a couple of days. What's to do? You plug it in and type. Big deal. She claims there's more, but humans tend to make a big deal out of small things. Bah. So, I snuck onto her laptop. She can't keep me from voicing my opinions!

Is She Home Yet?

OK. This is getting ridiculous. The Mom better be coming home tonight. I've had it. The Dad just doesn't get it. I have a routine and the humans need to stick with it. How difficult is it? I knew humans were stupid but how hard is it to give me my Stinky Goodness at 7:30am? I don't care if they have the "day off from work" or if they are "sleeping in." Hello? My priorities come first. The Mom has been with me for almost all my life so she understands, for the most part. The Dad? He's too new. I've been trying to train him but he gets so stubborn. If I could get away with it, I would just smack some sense into him but he is kind of big. Bah. I just want the Mom home.

This isn't so bad

As I mentioned in my last post, the thought of the Mom going away even for a couple of days isn't thrilling for me. This morning, she noticed that I was giving her the cold shoulder. I guess to help me feel better, she took one of the old pillows from the Big Sleepy Spot and put it in the closet next to the laundry basket for me. It seems like an odd gesture, but I'm not complaining. It's the in the closet, which is a Good Thing, and it's MINE. M-I-N-E.

Maybe she needs to go away for often.

Something's Up

I knew something was up the other day when the Mom was teaching the Dad to give me my pills, but I was too distracted at the time by him trying to stuff the darn thing down my throat.

This morning, the Mom pulled out the Luggage and started packing. This is a bad sign. It means that she's going away, which is a Bad Thing. When I ventured out of the closet to confirm my suspicions, she explained that she needed a vacation and was going to visit my grandparents down in Florida.

She did say that the Dad would be staying home to take care of us. Great. I like the Dad, but he's just not the Mom. He doesn't know how to keep the Brats off my turf and feed me the Stinky Goodness when I'm supposed to get it. What's worse? He doesn't like cleaning the Stinky Pan. Well, I don't blame him 'cause the Brats make a huge mess but he better clean it every day like the Mom does. Bah. I just hope that the Mom completes his education or else it's going to be a long week.

Stick to the schedule!

We have a schedule. The Mom gets up, she uses her litterbox, and then she feeds me. We do this every morning. Simple, eh? You would think.

This morning, the Mom gets up at her normal time and uses her litterbox. Next thing I know, she's going back to the Big Sleepy Spot. Hello? Did you forget something? I was really mad too 'cause I had been nice and warm in the laundry basket and got up to get fed. Heck. If you're going to make me get out of my spot, you better darn well feed me.

So what do I do? I go into the bedroom, jump up on top of the Mom, and howled in her face. She took one look at me and said "sorry Ayla. I'm sleeping in late today. You'll have to wait" The nerve! Since I can't smack the Mom I just sat there and glared at her. Unfortunately, she's the only one who is mostly immune to my Evil Eye.

I think I need to throw up a hairball on her pillow.

The Tuna is MINE

The Mom decided to make some tuna for lunch today. She gave the Brats some "tuna water" (the water in the can of tuna), but she knows that the actual tuna fish is mine. Not the Brats, not hers, mine. M-I-N-E. Simple concept, right? Well the two Doofi don't seem to get it. They think they're young and faster than an old fart. They may be, but they keep on forgetting that I am the expert on giving other kitties a good hard smack upside the head. They get a little too close to the tuna and THWAP! Right upside their dense little heads. That should teach them seniority is more important than youth. Stupid kittens.

My First Snarky-ism

Snarky-ism of the Day: If I'm howling at the bathroom door, that means I want to be let in so I can drink the water out of the bathtub. Got it?

So?

It's a box. Cats are supposed to like boxes. So what if it's a pizza box? It smells like pizza. You act like it's a bad thing.

What the heck is curling?

OK. What the heck is this? The Mom has been obsessed with this "sport" for the past week and is glued to the TV watching it. She tried to explain it to me but basically it's a bunch of humans tossing rocks on ice to try to get points. Oh my. How stupid can humans get? Tossing rocks on ice? Ha. It's more exciting to watch the Brats toss around the catnip balls on the kitchen floor. Who would want to watch humans tossing rocks?

I do wonder about her sometimes...

Hmph!

You know, all I want is a little warmth. The Mom got mad at me for complaining that it was cold in the place yesterday. Well, I'm sorry but I felt cold and even the Annoying One was crying for some warmth. The Mom says that we should all blame the Dad and some guy called Opeck for us having to keep the heat down. I know the Dad is hot all the time but he's weird. I don't know who this Opeck guy is but if I ever do meet him, I'm going to give him a good whap upside the head. No human should tell me how warm I can keep my home. Bah.

For cripes sake...

...TURN UP THE FREAKING HEAT ALREADY!!! Is that too much to ask for? I mean, I'm seeing my freakin' breath here.

**note from the Mom: the heat is up to 72 degrees so I don't know what she's complaining about**

At least the Annoying One has decided to leave me alone. That's always a good thing, though he was warm.

Oh ya. The big Brat Loki took my sleepy pillow but I took the Dad's pillow instead. It's closer to the heat thingie so it works out for the best. Plus, none of the other Brats sleep there so it's all mine. OK so it's not as comfortable either, but it's mine darn it. Why can't I have the house to myself?

Haiku time

Max the Psychokitty suggested that we kitties right some cat haiku, so here's my turn:

Oh the hellish Brats
Won't you just leave me alone
Go far away please

The laundry basket
Oh so safe for me to sleep
Quiet spot of mine

Not too bad, eh?

Stinky Numnums are MINE

In the mornings, the Mom splits up a half a can of stinky numnums between me and the Annoying One. On most mornings, he stays on his side of the counter and leaves me alone. That I can live with. The past couple of mornings, though, he finishes his food first and then starts going after mine. Nuh-uh. You'd think that the huge thwap I gave him upside the head would've gotten the message across, but noooo...I swear that cat is as dumb as Loki. I mean, I hissed, thwaped, growled, thwaped again, but he still tries to take my food. Finally, the Mom who is somewhere off in her own little world realizes what the Annoying One is doing and kicks him off the counter. Hmmm....maybe if I hit him hard enough he'll go flying off the counter. I got to remember that one.

Seniority rocks

Today the Mom opened up a whole bunch of windows to "let the air in." All I know is that it lets the cold in too but she never listens to my complaints. Anyways, it wasn't that cold and there were some good smells coming in so I figured I would jump on the window to enjoy them. But noooo....the Doofi beat me to it. They are so big that the two of them blocked the entire window sill. How rude! I was just going to jump up there and whap 'em a few times when the Mom kicked one of them off. "Give Ayla a chance to enjoy the window," she said and then put me on the sill. I guess seniority does have its advantages.

Oh ya. I've been tagged by The Monsters...

Here are the rules:
1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Post the fifth sentence (or closest to it).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same thing.

Well, let's see...

"I hate seeing the Mom and Dad so sad because they miss her."

Ah...that's when the Great-Grammy died. :(

If you want to do this one, tag, you're it.

Snow sucks

The Mom and the Dad were all excited today 'cause there was a big snowstorm. We supposedly got over a foot of snow. Whoopee-do-da. What's the big deal? All I know is that snow sucks. Why? 'Cause every single bone in my body HURTS when a big storm comes in. Plus it means that it's going to be really, really cold.

Later on, when I was snoozing peacefully in the laundry basket, the Mom drags me out so she can dump all her wet, snow covered clothes in there. Great. It's bad enough that she yanked me out of a sound sleep, but now I can't go back in 'cause it's all wet and cold. How rude. She wouldn't like it if I knocked a glass of water on the Big Sleepy Spot. Maybe I'll just toss up a hairball on her pillow.

Name Game

I was bored while the Mom was at school today and I came across the Cowboy's blog and his post about "what's in a name." Of course this got me thinking 'cause the Mom always comes up with these weird names for us.

Her first cat was Boo Boo. What the heck kind of name is that? Supposedly Uncle Martin gave her the original name of "Skates" but the Mom decided that wasn't "fitting." The name was from some silly human TV show about these really ugly chicks with dogs on their clothing. Humans are weird.

The second kitty was my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Xanadu. No, the Mom didn't name him after that really stupid movie. It's after a song by some band she still forces me to listen too constantly. Fast? Speedy? No....ah yes...Rush.

I was named after a fictional heroine the Mom was reading about when she finally settled on a name for me. However, the Mom in all her brillance took two weeks to give me an official name. It almost ended up as Fuzzy, which to me is just degrading. That's like naming me Brat or something. Bah. The heroine name is much more fitting.

After me was Moose. He wasn't too bad 'cause he left me alone and really liked Xanadu too. His real name was Thibault (pronounced T-bo), after a hockey player. Moose was more fitting 'cause he was really big.

Then there are the Brats:

• Kukai - The Mom found his name in a Japanese history book and liked it 'cause it sounded Japanese. She should've just named him The Annoying One. To me, that's his real name.
• Bomber - Supposedly this is short for Bombadir, a hockey player the Mom was a fan of. Ya, a big dumb human. Then again, this is one big dumb Brat.
• Bailey - She originally had the name Barlett, which to me sounds like a human barfing up a hairball. Luckily the Mom realized how awful it was and renamed her Bailey. Once again, she got the name from another stupid TV show.
• Phoebe - No creativity here. This was her name in the Bad Place (aka the Shelter) and the Mom kept it.
• Fizzy - Short for Fizzgig. I've seen the movie. Just imagine that little spaz monster as a cat. You have Fizzy.
• Loki - The Norse god of mischief. Hmmm. I think the Norse god of "this creature has not a single functioning brain cell in his head" would've been more fitting.
• Monkee - The Dad has this thing with monkeys. I don't know why as they are annoying creatures (though I like the whole flinging poop thing....ah I wish we had thumbs). Supposedly this Brat has a face that look like a monkey. As I said, humans are weird.

Ha Ha

The Mom decided to be funny by tossing a pair of her underwear onto my head when I was sleeping in the laundry basket. Why do the humans think this is "funny" or "cute?" It's freaking degrading is what it is. I'm sitting there minding my own business while I have a good snooze and boom! There's a stinky pair of underwear on my head. Well, I wasn't going to have it. I gave her my "evil eye" until she finally took the damn thing off my head. Geeze. The nerve of some people.

Undignified

The Mom plays a bunch of these stupid video games and I just found out that she used one of my photos to make her signature avatar, whatever the heck that means. She said the photo was "perfect" because I looked grumpy:



Hmph. If she wants to see grumpy, I'll SHOW her grumpy...

1,000 and counting

The Mom was so excited today when she saw that my blog's view count is now over 1,000. Whoopdee-freakin-do-da. Who the heck cares about view counts? I'm just using this as a place to vent. If you want to read it, then go ahead.

Anyways, the Mom is in a really grumpy mood today. She's upset 'cause she had "rough day" at school. Bah. She's got it easy. She got to go out and get away from the Brats all day which left me here alone to deal with them. Talk about a nightmare. At least when she's home most of the Brats flock to her, and that's usually in another room. This is perfect for me 'cause I get the Big Sleepy Spot all to myself and I can sleep in some peace. When she's out of the house the Brats get bored and bother me. See the problem?

On top of this, the Annoying One has been especially annoying lately. He is now trying to sleep next to me constantly. At least the idiotic kittens have finally learned to leave me alone, but this bozo who has known me for most of his nine years on this godforsaken planet just doesn't get it. LEAVE ME ALONE!!! How difficult a concept is that to grasp? Is he so thick skulled or brain damaged that he can't understand why I smack him around so much? It's darn well not out of love, I can tell you that. The Mom says that we're like an old married couple. I don't think so. At least in old married couples they actually liked each other at one point.

And the Mom thinks she has it so bad. Bah.

Predazone and new nicknames

I started taking those little Predazone pills and boy am I not liking it. The Mom is happy 'cause I seem to be eating more but I have no affinity to have pills shoved down my throat. She says that the pills are easier 'cause she's afraid of the stress on me of taking me to the vet every month for shots. Like the pills are any better? What masochist came up with this choice of a pill or shot? Can't they make little Predazone kitty treats that taste like salmon? You'd think with all this modern technology that the stupid humans have that they could come up with something to make our lives easier.

Then again, some really mean and stupid human came up with this. What the heck were they thinking?

On a lighter note, I think the Mom has given the two Doofi--never heard a more fitting name--new names. They seem to be Loki-no and Monkee-bad. I personally can think of better names for them but this is a PG rated blog.

Get that Camera Out of My Face!!!

The Dad just had to get the Mom a new camera for Christmas. Personally I think he just did it to torture me 'cause he knows how much I despite having that think pointed at me with all the flashing it does. Why do these stupid humans want to take pictures of us anyways when we're right here to enjoy in full life?

This morning the Mom went camera happy and starting taking pictures of all of us to try out her new camera. When she came to me, I tried to curl up into a little ball to give her the hint to leave me the #%&@ alone. But nooooooo. There goes the stupid flash over and over again. She even moved me to "get a better angle." The nerve. If I still had my front claws I would've showed her a thing or too. Instead, I just gave her my snarkiest look and went back to sleep.

The Torture Palace

There I was, nice and comfy on the Big Sleepy Spot, when the Mom grabs me and puts me in The Box. When she does that, it means one of two things: either we're moving or I'm going to visit the V-E-T. Well, there weren't any boxes being packed so it meant the latter. Grrr. Wasn't I just there not too long ago?

The Mom said she's worried that I'm losing too much weight. Well maybe if she fed me more stinky numnums I wouldn't be losing weight. Did she ever think of that? Noooo. So I get dragged to the mean nasty V-E-T. I got poked at and stabbed and they took more blood out of me. How am I going to live if they keep on taking my blood? Damn vampires.

The V-E-T thinks I may have irritable kitty bowel syndrome. Well I've been called irritable, but what does that have to do with my bowel? What's a bowel anyways? I was told I may have to eat pills each day to help with that. Yuck! I'm beginning to think that this V-E-T person dresses in leather and has a whole collection of whips at home. Why does she have to torture me like this?

The Annoying One

Somebody said to "take it easy on the little one" in a comment to my last post. Normally I would agree but I've been dealing with the Annoying One for EIGHT YEARS and he won't stop.

You see, we have a "love hate relationship:" He loves me, I hate him. Out of all the cats in this house, why does he have to bother ME? You'd think after eight years the dimwit would get the hint, but no. He keeps on annoying me. However, with the fact that it's been so cold in the house, I've put in a temporary truce and allowed him to curl up with me sometimes. But it's only temporary!

P.S. The Mom is yelling at me that she keeps the thermostat, whatever that is, at 70 degrees and she's not freezing us out. Well I don't care what she says. It's too darn cold in here.

Stop your whining!

The Mom is mad at me because I haven't posted in a while. It seems that you people have nothing better to do with your lives than read about me. Bah. What do you expect? It's been cold in this apartment and since the stupid humans won't turn up the heat, I've been hibernating in the laundry basket. I'm not giving up my warm spot to humor you people.

But since I'm here now...

Have I mentioned how much I hate laundry day? Yes, I know I've mentioned that the Mom likes to take away the nice pile of clothes from me. So today I said "the hell with it" and took over the bed. Well that didn't last long because the Mom kept on moving me around. She said she had to "change the sheets." Well hell. She takes my laundry and now she's taking the darn bed from me? Bah.

And then the Annoying One thinks I'm being "social" because I'm not in one of my spots. This cat needs a good swift thwap on the head. He doesn't seem to understand that I DON'T LIKE HIM. How hard is that to get? You'd think after the number of times I've beaten the living tar out of him that he would eventually get a clue.

I'm going back to sleep now.

Pepperoni goodness

I noticed that the Mom and the Dad had pepperoni for a snack last night and they weren't sharing. Well hell...I am the Queen of the house so I deserved some. I went right up to the Mom and took the pepperoni from her. If she's not going to share, I might as well take some for myself. She yelled that I "bit" her. Well, if she gave me the damn pepperoni in the first place, I wouldn't have had to resort to using force. That's what she gets.

Now if I can just figure out how to open the fridge.

What the...?

There I was, all asleep and comfy in my laundry basket when all of a sudden I'm whapped in the head! After unburying myself from whatever hit me, I look around and discovered that the Dad pitched a pair of his dirty underwear right on me! Can you believe that? The nerve. Those stupid humans know I sleep in there so you'd think that they'd at least look before tossing. Then again, that would require humans to think, and I'm still not so sure they do that.

Sad day

I was going to be really mad at the Mom today 'cause she's been hogging up the computer finishing up her stupid animation projects, but then I found out that the Great-Grammy crossed over the Rainbow Bridge today. I had never met her but she must have been really special to the Dad 'cause he's really sad. The Mom is sad too. She says that Great-Grammy was a good lady. I hope humans are lucky enough to cross over the Rainbow Bridge with us. I hate seeing the Mom and Dad so sad because they miss her. If I knew her, I would miss her too I think.

Give me attention!

For the past couple of days, the Mom and the Dad have been in their own little world. Even though the Mom's depression seems to be easing up a bit, she's been busy with "finals." I don't know what those are but all she's doing is her drawings and working on the computer. The Dad hasn't been home much and when he is he's always tired and wants to sleep. I don't care what they think their priorities are but they need to give me attention dammit! There I am, sitting all pretty on the pillow and they are ignoring me. This morning I had had enough. I yowled at them in my loudest meow possible until they gave me pets. The Dad was surprised that I could still yell that loud, but it worked and I got pets all morning.

Depression sucks...

...according to the Mom.

She's been really sick with this depression stuff a lot lately. It's got me rather worried. I mean, I don't mind sharing the Big Sleepy Spot with her 'cause she lets me have her pillow, but if she's really sick then all the Brats come in too. One or two of them are bad enough but for pete's sake. There were all seven of them in bed with her. Come on. Give a girl some space. Of course the Annoying One tried to share the pillow AGAIN. Can't that idiot take a hint? And then the two kittens are constantly playing and disrupting my sleep.

Damn. I wish the Mom would get better soon so I can get some rest.

Brrr...

As I was reading some other blogs from my friends Max and The Crew, I've discovered that I'm not the only one who is freezing her little paws off. Why do the Humans always have to be the ones who decide what temperature is "comfortable?" The Dad is always complaining that it's "too hot" so he's always turning down the thermostat. The Mom, on the other hand, is always "too cold," so when the Dad's not around she turns up the thermostat. Go Mom!

What's worse is that if it gets too cold, the Annoying One, Kukai, tries to curl up with me. Oh my I HATE that. He smells funny and he's constantly waking me up and trying to pick a fight with me. I've learned over the years to get the first swat in whenever he walks by 'cause I know that he's going to try to swat at me.

Anyways, so last night I was all nice and comfy on the Mom's pillow when the Annoying One comes up meowing all innocently. Bah. I knew what that meant: within a few minutes he was trying to curl up with me on the pillow. I gave him three good thwaps upside the head to get him out of the way. Got to put the pest in his place. But whether or not I liked it, it was very cold last night and I needed some extra warmth myself. So, I let him curl up with me eventually, but he got my rear end in his face and not the other way around. It was still degrading having to lower myself to sharing warmth with him. Bah.

Would you stupid Humans TURN UP THE HEAT ALREADY!!!

Oh brother

That little twit Loki caught me typing my blog up last night and decided that it was "too fun" not to do. So the idiot turned around and started typing up his own entry. Thankfully he's too stupid to figure out how to create his own blog and just posted up on the Mom's Flock O' Fuzzies blog.

Speaking of stupid, this morning he's running around, spaz'ing as usual. However, I discovered that he was chasing after...get this...NOTHING! I mean, if you're going to run around like a crazy cat, at least have a purpose in it. All he does is tear through the house for no reason what so ever. Why? I barely have enough energy to get from the bed to the food dish. Why waste it all on nothing? I don't understand kittens.

Mom is sick

The Mom hasn't been doing too good lately. She has been sick a lot. It's not the normal kind of sickies where you sniffle or throw up or anything like that. She is just sad a lot. The Dad said she has something called "depression" which makes her sad. I don't know why she gets sad when she has me around. I've been trying to remind her of that fact by sleeping on her pillow every chance I get. Maybe it's the Brats who are making her sad. I mean, they are so darn annoying and that makes me sad. Life would be so, so much easier without them around.

Anyways, I've taken over the job of helping the Mom not be sad. I've even been kicking the Brats off her pillow 'cause they can't do nearly as good a job as me as I've been around the longest and know her bestest. Also, my purring seems to help her so I've been doing a lot of that lately. I just want the Mom to get better.

One for the Brats

Normally, I would be very happy if all the Brats were sent away to someplace like...oh...Mars for the rest of their lives. This morning, though, they made their existence at least a little less annoying.

You see, normally The Mom and The Dad don't wake up until about 8am and then soon after The Mom feeds us the stinky numnums. For some reason, The Dad got up really early but The Mom didn't. Since he got up, he woke up all the Brats, including the two kittens. Well those two don't have a live brain cell between the two of them so they immediately thought it was feeding time. But where was The Mom? Still asleep. They went in and pounced and meowed and pounced some more on The Mom until she woke up and fed us! Their plan actually worked! It was completely undignified for a cat to behave this way but I may try a modified version of it myself if I wake up before The Mom.

Thanksgiving Numnums

Yesterday the Mom and the Dad went out for a good part of the day, which isn't anything unusual, but when they came home they brought with them bags of goodies. I don't know where they went but it must be heaven 'cause they had tons of turkey (the REAL stuff too, not the canned) and ham! Oh! I could smell all that stinky goodness from a mile away. The biggest problem? It wasn't all for me. The Mom actually gave some of that magnificent turkey to the Brats. Why oh why would she waste it on those twits who don't know how to enjoy the fine aromas and taste? All they do is scarf the food down in one swallow. I don't even think they chew it at all. What a waste of good food!

I, on the other hand, am a connoisseur. I sniff the turkey goodness and enjoy it's thick aroma. Then I take small little nibbles to savor its wonderful taste. I know that we only get these treats a couple of times a year so I'm going to enjoy ever single savory bite. Now if I can just convince the Mom to just give them to me...

Animal Meme

My good friend Pandora Meme'd me (whatever the hell that means). Since she's a good friend and brillant minds do think alike, I'll humor her and answer her questions:

Favorite Place to Sleep - Hmph. Well, I have three: The Big Sleepy Spot, the Mom's pillow, and the laundry basket. Then again, those are really the only places I sleep.

Favorite Music - Music? The sound of all the Brats getting locked up in kitty carriers to be taken away would be the sweetest music I ever heard. Other than that, I'd have to go with my own singing in the morning for stinky numnums.

Favorite Toy - Who needs toys when I have Brats to thwap upside the head constantly?

Favorite Flavor of Stinky Goodness - Ooh. This is a tough one. Any of the fishie types and I'm happy.

Favorite Human - The Mom, of course, but the Dad is growing on me.

Favorite Game - Whap all the Brats.

Favorite Window - Hmmm...Don't have one really. Too cold to sit by the windows for me. I do like looking out the bedroom window from The Big Sleepy Spot though.

Favorite Naughty Thing To Do - Chewing on plastic bags. Yummy. Don't know why the Mom and the Dad think it's "naughty" 'cause they taste so yummy.

Bad Morning

I was just sitting in the kitchen, waiting with the Brats for the Mom to give us our morning stinky numnums, when all of a sudden the Brat, Fizzy, walks up to me and starts whacking me on the head for no reason whatsoever! Well I hissed and whacked back, but since I have no front claws I couldn't do as much damage as I would've liked. At least the Mom saw what was going on and chased Fizzy away with the Dreaded Spray Bottle.

If that wasn't bad enough, then the really big Brat, Bailey, came up to me and started doing the same thing. What is it with these freaks? The Mom was really pissed off by this point 'cause they should know that I'm the Queen of the House and I should be left alone, so Bailey got the Dreaded Spray Bottle treatment as well.

I would've thought that with all I went through, the Mom would give me extra stinky numnums to help me feel better, but NO! She gave me my usual amount. What is wrong with this human? Can't she see how much I suffered? At least give me extra stinky numnums. Bah. I'll get her back later and throw up a hairball on her pillow.

Best of both worlds

Since the Brats have taken to the Mom's pillow and the Dad is giving me such a hard time about sleeping on his pillow, I was really grumpy about not having a good sleepy spot. Then, I realized that I could have the best of both worlds and sleep on BOTH!



Now neither the Brats nor the Dad can kick me off!

I don't know what I did....

...but I got TWO portions of the stinky numnums today. One in the morning and once in the evening. The best part? None of the Brats got any this evening so I was the only one. Nah na na na poo poo. Mwuahahaha. The Mom claims she's feeding me extra 'cause I need to gain weight. I think she's just using it as an excuse 'cause she feels so bad for forcing the Brats on me. I'm not going to complain though. As long as she keeps the Brats away from me when I'm eating, I'll be very happy.

Why Me?

Since the Mom's pillow has been violated and taken over by the youngest Brats, I decided to sleep on the Dad's pillow instead. For some reason, the Dad would not let me sleep on his pillow. It's not like I take up all that much space or anything. He kept on picking me up and putting me on the Mom's pillow. I DON'T want to sit there any more 'cause it smells like the Brats. I want my OWN pillow and since none of the other Brats sleep on his pillow, I might as well make it mine. I just don't know what his problem is. He takes up most of the big sleepy spot anyways. Why would he need the pillow? If the Dad keeps this up I'm going to have to smack him upside the head.

Enough already!

Bah.

The two youngest Brats have been driving me nuts lately. All they do is run around chasing after each other with no concept of what or who they are running over. All I wanted to do was go get my numnums when the two of them come zooming out of nowhere and crash right into me! Then, they keep on running like I wasn't even there! The nerve. If I hadn't been so shocked, I would've given them both a good smack upside the head.

Then, when the Mom was feeding me the stinky numnums, the sneaky one, Monkee, jumps up on the counter to try to eat my numnums! This time I did give him a good smack. They get their own stinky numnums in the bathroom. The ones on the counter are MINE. Luckily the Mom saw what was going on and squirted him with the Dreaded Spray Bottle. That will teach him to mess with my food.

Flock O' Fuzzies

I think The Mom is jealous of my popularity. She decided to start writing a blog about us cats called Flock O' Fuzzies. Why she would want to waste her time and energy on the Brats is beyond me. Now, if she wanted to talk about me more I have no problem with that as long as she doesn't wake me up in the process.

Oh ya...I'm mad at The Mom. She didn't give me my stinky numnums this morning. Why? I have no clue. She was supposedly "running late" for something. Nothing is as important as my numnums. I don't understand humans. At least the Brats didn't get their numnums either so it wasn't all that bad.

Cameras and Crazies

The Mom was running around yesterday with her camera trying to get pictures of all of us. Why she feels the need to do this is beyond me. The flash is bad enough as it is, but then she woke me up so she could get a better picture. Better picture? Is that really worth waking me up for? Bah. Well, here's the stupid picture...



The Mom was also complaining that the two youngest Brats, Loki and Monkee, were driving her nuts. Well duh! Where has she been? Those two run around destroying everything in their path. They've been doing it since they got here. And she wonders why I hide in the laundry basket all day long.

Laundry day sucks

I was having a good morning too. The Brats left me alone and I got a larger than normal serving of numnums. Then The Mom had to go and do laundry.

It's bad enough that she takes away my hiding spot from me with all the nice stinky clothes in it. But this time she also kicked me off the big sleepy spot a few times while she took the sheets off. I was just sleeping comfortably and wanted to be left alone to enjoy my nice full tummy. But no. She even took the pillows off! What's a girl to do.

My laundry basket is back but it's empty, which makes it uncomfortable to sleep in. Also, the sheets now don't have the nice stinky smells on them so that's no fun. It's going to take a good week for the nice smells to return too.

I hate Mondays.