Thursday, March 30, 2006

Stressed Mom = Bad Thing

As the Mom puts it, it's "that time of the semester." I don't understand what it is with humans and school. They are dumb to begin with and schooling doesn't help. Sometimes I think they are stupid just to go to school. The Mom is a perfect example of this: she volunteers to go to school where she is forced to work constantly and study, endures tough exams, spends late nights writing papers, for what? A "grade." What the freakin' heck is a grade?

All I know is that after this thing called "midterms," the Mom starts stressing out over exams and papers. This, in turn, means she forgets the important things like giving me my Stinky Goodness on time. Also, she gets so full of this useless information that she even forgets my friggin' name. Geeze. Once I figure out how a good "grade" is going to get me more Stinky Goodness, then I'll understand why the Mom does that. Until then, I'm going to keep on thinking that she's completely nuts.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


I swear the new computers are sucking the brains out of my humans. Last night, when I jumped up on the bed behind the Mom, she reached out to pet me and said "hi Monkee." Um. Hello? Do I look like that doofus? To say the least I was insulted. She apologized to me by saying my "fur felt like Monkee's." Don't even associate my beautifulness with that dope. "Felt like Monkee" my ass. She's been petting me for sixteen freakin' years so you'd think she knew what I felt like. Bah.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Enough already

The Mom and the Dad spent most of the day with their new computers. They treat those bucket o' bolts like they were little children, coddling and cooing at them. How pathetic can you get? It's like they forget that those things are not alive and they turn around and ignore those of us that are. Yes, she gave me the Stinky Goodness this morning and my pills, but those stupid humans ignored us all day long. Bah.

So what's a girl going to do? Find her own form of entertainment, right? I walked around the apartment thwapping the Annoying One upside the head. Of course that didn't go over too well with the humans when they finally realized what I was doing, but what do they expect? If you're not going to entertain us, we'll have to find our own methods of keeping ourselves entertained. And I find thwapping Kukai very, very entertaining.

P.S. Both the Mom and the Dad said I can't have a computer of my own. She says she's worried the FBI will come knocking down our door if I was given full access to a computer. I have no idea why she thinks that. Oh well. I'll just have to poop on her keyboard to get my point across.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

What's the big deal?

The Mom got a new computer today. She's running around all excited about it. I have no idea why. It's a stupid piece of plastic that doesn't do anything important. Whoopee-friggin-do-da. When I told her this, she said I was wrong (the nerve!). She explained that she does the finances, all her homework, and her animation projects on the computer so it's very important. To her maybe, but not to me. Now if it dispensed Stinky Goodness, THEN it would be important.

I'm sorry I haven't updated my blog in a while. The Mom has been hogging the computer since she got home from vacation. Supposedly, she is getting some projects done for a school film festival at the end of the month so she "needed" to use the computer a lot. Hello? Am I not important? I need access to the computer myself. A girl needs to rant, especially in these living conditions with the seven Brats. Now she's telling me that I won't be able to use the new computer until she gets it all set up, which could take a couple of days. What's to do? You plug it in and type. Big deal. She claims there's more, but humans tend to make a big deal out of small things. Bah. So, I snuck onto her laptop. She can't keep me from voicing my opinions!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Is She Home Yet?

OK. This is getting ridiculous. The Mom better be coming home tonight. I've had it. The Dad just doesn't get it. I have a routine and the humans need to stick with it. How difficult is it? I knew humans were stupid but how hard is it to give me my Stinky Goodness at 7:30am? I don't care if they have the "day off from work" or if they are "sleeping in." Hello? My priorities come first. The Mom has been with me for almost all my life so she understands, for the most part. The Dad? He's too new. I've been trying to train him but he gets so stubborn. If I could get away with it, I would just smack some sense into him but he is kind of big. Bah. I just want the Mom home.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

This isn't so bad

As I mentioned in my last post, the thought of the Mom going away even for a couple of days isn't thrilling for me. This morning, she noticed that I was giving her the cold shoulder. I guess to help me feel better, she took one of the old pillows from the Big Sleepy Spot and put it in the closet next to the laundry basket for me. It seems like an odd gesture, but I'm not complaining. It's the in the closet, which is a Good Thing, and it's MINE. M-I-N-E.

Maybe she needs to go away for often.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Something's Up

I knew something was up the other day when the Mom was teaching the Dad to give me my pills, but I was too distracted at the time by him trying to stuff the darn thing down my throat.

This morning, the Mom pulled out the Luggage and started packing. This is a bad sign. It means that she's going away, which is a Bad Thing. When I ventured out of the closet to confirm my suspicions, she explained that she needed a vacation and was going to visit my grandparents down in Florida.

She did say that the Dad would be staying home to take care of us. Great. I like the Dad, but he's just not the Mom. He doesn't know how to keep the Brats off my turf and feed me the Stinky Goodness when I'm supposed to get it. What's worse? He doesn't like cleaning the Stinky Pan. Well, I don't blame him 'cause the Brats make a huge mess but he better clean it every day like the Mom does. Bah. I just hope that the Mom completes his education or else it's going to be a long week.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Stick to the schedule!

We have a schedule. The Mom gets up, she uses her litterbox, and then she feeds me. We do this every morning. Simple, eh? You would think.

This morning, the Mom gets up at her normal time and uses her litterbox. Next thing I know, she's going back to the Big Sleepy Spot. Hello? Did you forget something? I was really mad too 'cause I had been nice and warm in the laundry basket and got up to get fed. Heck. If you're going to make me get out of my spot, you better darn well feed me.

So what do I do? I go into the bedroom, jump up on top of the Mom, and howled in her face. She took one look at me and said "sorry Ayla. I'm sleeping in late today. You'll have to wait" The nerve! Since I can't smack the Mom I just sat there and glared at her. Unfortunately, she's the only one who is mostly immune to my Evil Eye.

I think I need to throw up a hairball on her pillow.