Thursday, January 26, 2006

1,000 and counting

The Mom was so excited today when she saw that my blog's view count is now over 1,000. Whoopdee-freakin-do-da. Who the heck cares about view counts? I'm just using this as a place to vent. If you want to read it, then go ahead.

Anyways, the Mom is in a really grumpy mood today. She's upset 'cause she had "rough day" at school. Bah. She's got it easy. She got to go out and get away from the Brats all day which left me here alone to deal with them. Talk about a nightmare. At least when she's home most of the Brats flock to her, and that's usually in another room. This is perfect for me 'cause I get the Big Sleepy Spot all to myself and I can sleep in some peace. When she's out of the house the Brats get bored and bother me. See the problem?

On top of this, the Annoying One has been especially annoying lately. He is now trying to sleep next to me constantly. At least the idiotic kittens have finally learned to leave me alone, but this bozo who has known me for most of his nine years on this godforsaken planet just doesn't get it. LEAVE ME ALONE!!! How difficult a concept is that to grasp? Is he so thick skulled or brain damaged that he can't understand why I smack him around so much? It's darn well not out of love, I can tell you that. The Mom says that we're like an old married couple. I don't think so. At least in old married couples they actually liked each other at one point.

And the Mom thinks she has it so bad. Bah.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Predazone and new nicknames

I started taking those little Predazone pills and boy am I not liking it. The Mom is happy 'cause I seem to be eating more but I have no affinity to have pills shoved down my throat. She says that the pills are easier 'cause she's afraid of the stress on me of taking me to the vet every month for shots. Like the pills are any better? What masochist came up with this choice of a pill or shot? Can't they make little Predazone kitty treats that taste like salmon? You'd think with all this modern technology that the stupid humans have that they could come up with something to make our lives easier.

Then again, some really mean and stupid human came up with this. What the heck were they thinking?

On a lighter note, I think the Mom has given the two Doofi--never heard a more fitting name--new names. They seem to be Loki-no and Monkee-bad. I personally can think of better names for them but this is a PG rated blog.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Get that Camera Out of My Face!!!

The Dad just had to get the Mom a new camera for Christmas. Personally I think he just did it to torture me 'cause he knows how much I despite having that think pointed at me with all the flashing it does. Why do these stupid humans want to take pictures of us anyways when we're right here to enjoy in full life?

This morning the Mom went camera happy and starting taking pictures of all of us to try out her new camera. When she came to me, I tried to curl up into a little ball to give her the hint to leave me the #%&@ alone. But nooooooo. There goes the stupid flash over and over again. She even moved me to "get a better angle." The nerve. If I still had my front claws I would've showed her a thing or too. Instead, I just gave her my snarkiest look and went back to sleep.

Monday, January 16, 2006

The Torture Palace

There I was, nice and comfy on the Big Sleepy Spot, when the Mom grabs me and puts me in The Box. When she does that, it means one of two things: either we're moving or I'm going to visit the V-E-T. Well, there weren't any boxes being packed so it meant the latter. Grrr. Wasn't I just there not too long ago?

The Mom said she's worried that I'm losing too much weight. Well maybe if she fed me more stinky numnums I wouldn't be losing weight. Did she ever think of that? Noooo. So I get dragged to the mean nasty V-E-T. I got poked at and stabbed and they took more blood out of me. How am I going to live if they keep on taking my blood? Damn vampires.

The V-E-T thinks I may have irritable kitty bowel syndrome. Well I've been called irritable, but what does that have to do with my bowel? What's a bowel anyways? I was told I may have to eat pills each day to help with that. Yuck! I'm beginning to think that this V-E-T person dresses in leather and has a whole collection of whips at home. Why does she have to torture me like this?

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The Annoying One

Somebody said to "take it easy on the little one" in a comment to my last post. Normally I would agree but I've been dealing with the Annoying One for EIGHT YEARS and he won't stop.

You see, we have a "love hate relationship:" He loves me, I hate him. Out of all the cats in this house, why does he have to bother ME? You'd think after eight years the dimwit would get the hint, but no. He keeps on annoying me. However, with the fact that it's been so cold in the house, I've put in a temporary truce and allowed him to curl up with me sometimes. But it's only temporary!

P.S. The Mom is yelling at me that she keeps the thermostat, whatever that is, at 70 degrees and she's not freezing us out. Well I don't care what she says. It's too darn cold in here.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Stop your whining!

The Mom is mad at me because I haven't posted in a while. It seems that you people have nothing better to do with your lives than read about me. Bah. What do you expect? It's been cold in this apartment and since the stupid humans won't turn up the heat, I've been hibernating in the laundry basket. I'm not giving up my warm spot to humor you people.

But since I'm here now...

Have I mentioned how much I hate laundry day? Yes, I know I've mentioned that the Mom likes to take away the nice pile of clothes from me. So today I said "the hell with it" and took over the bed. Well that didn't last long because the Mom kept on moving me around. She said she had to "change the sheets." Well hell. She takes my laundry and now she's taking the darn bed from me? Bah.

And then the Annoying One thinks I'm being "social" because I'm not in one of my spots. This cat needs a good swift thwap on the head. He doesn't seem to understand that I DON'T LIKE HIM. How hard is that to get? You'd think after the number of times I've beaten the living tar out of him that he would eventually get a clue.

I'm going back to sleep now.