Pepperoni goodness

I noticed that the Mom and the Dad had pepperoni for a snack last night and they weren't sharing. Well hell...I am the Queen of the house so I deserved some. I went right up to the Mom and took the pepperoni from her. If she's not going to share, I might as well take some for myself. She yelled that I "bit" her. Well, if she gave me the damn pepperoni in the first place, I wouldn't have had to resort to using force. That's what she gets.

Now if I can just figure out how to open the fridge.

What the...?

There I was, all asleep and comfy in my laundry basket when all of a sudden I'm whapped in the head! After unburying myself from whatever hit me, I look around and discovered that the Dad pitched a pair of his dirty underwear right on me! Can you believe that? The nerve. Those stupid humans know I sleep in there so you'd think that they'd at least look before tossing. Then again, that would require humans to think, and I'm still not so sure they do that.

Sad day

I was going to be really mad at the Mom today 'cause she's been hogging up the computer finishing up her stupid animation projects, but then I found out that the Great-Grammy crossed over the Rainbow Bridge today. I had never met her but she must have been really special to the Dad 'cause he's really sad. The Mom is sad too. She says that Great-Grammy was a good lady. I hope humans are lucky enough to cross over the Rainbow Bridge with us. I hate seeing the Mom and Dad so sad because they miss her. If I knew her, I would miss her too I think.

Give me attention!

For the past couple of days, the Mom and the Dad have been in their own little world. Even though the Mom's depression seems to be easing up a bit, she's been busy with "finals." I don't know what those are but all she's doing is her drawings and working on the computer. The Dad hasn't been home much and when he is he's always tired and wants to sleep. I don't care what they think their priorities are but they need to give me attention dammit! There I am, sitting all pretty on the pillow and they are ignoring me. This morning I had had enough. I yowled at them in my loudest meow possible until they gave me pets. The Dad was surprised that I could still yell that loud, but it worked and I got pets all morning.

Depression sucks...

...according to the Mom.

She's been really sick with this depression stuff a lot lately. It's got me rather worried. I mean, I don't mind sharing the Big Sleepy Spot with her 'cause she lets me have her pillow, but if she's really sick then all the Brats come in too. One or two of them are bad enough but for pete's sake. There were all seven of them in bed with her. Come on. Give a girl some space. Of course the Annoying One tried to share the pillow AGAIN. Can't that idiot take a hint? And then the two kittens are constantly playing and disrupting my sleep.

Damn. I wish the Mom would get better soon so I can get some rest.

Brrr...

As I was reading some other blogs from my friends Max and The Crew, I've discovered that I'm not the only one who is freezing her little paws off. Why do the Humans always have to be the ones who decide what temperature is "comfortable?" The Dad is always complaining that it's "too hot" so he's always turning down the thermostat. The Mom, on the other hand, is always "too cold," so when the Dad's not around she turns up the thermostat. Go Mom!

What's worse is that if it gets too cold, the Annoying One, Kukai, tries to curl up with me. Oh my I HATE that. He smells funny and he's constantly waking me up and trying to pick a fight with me. I've learned over the years to get the first swat in whenever he walks by 'cause I know that he's going to try to swat at me.

Anyways, so last night I was all nice and comfy on the Mom's pillow when the Annoying One comes up meowing all innocently. Bah. I knew what that meant: within a few minutes he was trying to curl up with me on the pillow. I gave him three good thwaps upside the head to get him out of the way. Got to put the pest in his place. But whether or not I liked it, it was very cold last night and I needed some extra warmth myself. So, I let him curl up with me eventually, but he got my rear end in his face and not the other way around. It was still degrading having to lower myself to sharing warmth with him. Bah.

Would you stupid Humans TURN UP THE HEAT ALREADY!!!

Oh brother

That little twit Loki caught me typing my blog up last night and decided that it was "too fun" not to do. So the idiot turned around and started typing up his own entry. Thankfully he's too stupid to figure out how to create his own blog and just posted up on the Mom's Flock O' Fuzzies blog.

Speaking of stupid, this morning he's running around, spaz'ing as usual. However, I discovered that he was chasing after...get this...NOTHING! I mean, if you're going to run around like a crazy cat, at least have a purpose in it. All he does is tear through the house for no reason what so ever. Why? I barely have enough energy to get from the bed to the food dish. Why waste it all on nothing? I don't understand kittens.

Mom is sick

The Mom hasn't been doing too good lately. She has been sick a lot. It's not the normal kind of sickies where you sniffle or throw up or anything like that. She is just sad a lot. The Dad said she has something called "depression" which makes her sad. I don't know why she gets sad when she has me around. I've been trying to remind her of that fact by sleeping on her pillow every chance I get. Maybe it's the Brats who are making her sad. I mean, they are so darn annoying and that makes me sad. Life would be so, so much easier without them around.

Anyways, I've taken over the job of helping the Mom not be sad. I've even been kicking the Brats off her pillow 'cause they can't do nearly as good a job as me as I've been around the longest and know her bestest. Also, my purring seems to help her so I've been doing a lot of that lately. I just want the Mom to get better.

One for the Brats

Normally, I would be very happy if all the Brats were sent away to someplace like...oh...Mars for the rest of their lives. This morning, though, they made their existence at least a little less annoying.

You see, normally The Mom and The Dad don't wake up until about 8am and then soon after The Mom feeds us the stinky numnums. For some reason, The Dad got up really early but The Mom didn't. Since he got up, he woke up all the Brats, including the two kittens. Well those two don't have a live brain cell between the two of them so they immediately thought it was feeding time. But where was The Mom? Still asleep. They went in and pounced and meowed and pounced some more on The Mom until she woke up and fed us! Their plan actually worked! It was completely undignified for a cat to behave this way but I may try a modified version of it myself if I wake up before The Mom.

Thanksgiving Numnums

Yesterday the Mom and the Dad went out for a good part of the day, which isn't anything unusual, but when they came home they brought with them bags of goodies. I don't know where they went but it must be heaven 'cause they had tons of turkey (the REAL stuff too, not the canned) and ham! Oh! I could smell all that stinky goodness from a mile away. The biggest problem? It wasn't all for me. The Mom actually gave some of that magnificent turkey to the Brats. Why oh why would she waste it on those twits who don't know how to enjoy the fine aromas and taste? All they do is scarf the food down in one swallow. I don't even think they chew it at all. What a waste of good food!

I, on the other hand, am a connoisseur. I sniff the turkey goodness and enjoy it's thick aroma. Then I take small little nibbles to savor its wonderful taste. I know that we only get these treats a couple of times a year so I'm going to enjoy ever single savory bite. Now if I can just convince the Mom to just give them to me...

Animal Meme

My good friend Pandora Meme'd me (whatever the hell that means). Since she's a good friend and brillant minds do think alike, I'll humor her and answer her questions:

Favorite Place to Sleep - Hmph. Well, I have three: The Big Sleepy Spot, the Mom's pillow, and the laundry basket. Then again, those are really the only places I sleep.

Favorite Music - Music? The sound of all the Brats getting locked up in kitty carriers to be taken away would be the sweetest music I ever heard. Other than that, I'd have to go with my own singing in the morning for stinky numnums.

Favorite Toy - Who needs toys when I have Brats to thwap upside the head constantly?

Favorite Flavor of Stinky Goodness - Ooh. This is a tough one. Any of the fishie types and I'm happy.

Favorite Human - The Mom, of course, but the Dad is growing on me.

Favorite Game - Whap all the Brats.

Favorite Window - Hmmm...Don't have one really. Too cold to sit by the windows for me. I do like looking out the bedroom window from The Big Sleepy Spot though.

Favorite Naughty Thing To Do - Chewing on plastic bags. Yummy. Don't know why the Mom and the Dad think it's "naughty" 'cause they taste so yummy.

Bad Morning

I was just sitting in the kitchen, waiting with the Brats for the Mom to give us our morning stinky numnums, when all of a sudden the Brat, Fizzy, walks up to me and starts whacking me on the head for no reason whatsoever! Well I hissed and whacked back, but since I have no front claws I couldn't do as much damage as I would've liked. At least the Mom saw what was going on and chased Fizzy away with the Dreaded Spray Bottle.

If that wasn't bad enough, then the really big Brat, Bailey, came up to me and started doing the same thing. What is it with these freaks? The Mom was really pissed off by this point 'cause they should know that I'm the Queen of the House and I should be left alone, so Bailey got the Dreaded Spray Bottle treatment as well.

I would've thought that with all I went through, the Mom would give me extra stinky numnums to help me feel better, but NO! She gave me my usual amount. What is wrong with this human? Can't she see how much I suffered? At least give me extra stinky numnums. Bah. I'll get her back later and throw up a hairball on her pillow.

Best of both worlds

Since the Brats have taken to the Mom's pillow and the Dad is giving me such a hard time about sleeping on his pillow, I was really grumpy about not having a good sleepy spot. Then, I realized that I could have the best of both worlds and sleep on BOTH!



Now neither the Brats nor the Dad can kick me off!

I don't know what I did....

...but I got TWO portions of the stinky numnums today. One in the morning and once in the evening. The best part? None of the Brats got any this evening so I was the only one. Nah na na na poo poo. Mwuahahaha. The Mom claims she's feeding me extra 'cause I need to gain weight. I think she's just using it as an excuse 'cause she feels so bad for forcing the Brats on me. I'm not going to complain though. As long as she keeps the Brats away from me when I'm eating, I'll be very happy.

Why Me?

Since the Mom's pillow has been violated and taken over by the youngest Brats, I decided to sleep on the Dad's pillow instead. For some reason, the Dad would not let me sleep on his pillow. It's not like I take up all that much space or anything. He kept on picking me up and putting me on the Mom's pillow. I DON'T want to sit there any more 'cause it smells like the Brats. I want my OWN pillow and since none of the other Brats sleep on his pillow, I might as well make it mine. I just don't know what his problem is. He takes up most of the big sleepy spot anyways. Why would he need the pillow? If the Dad keeps this up I'm going to have to smack him upside the head.

Enough already!

Bah.

The two youngest Brats have been driving me nuts lately. All they do is run around chasing after each other with no concept of what or who they are running over. All I wanted to do was go get my numnums when the two of them come zooming out of nowhere and crash right into me! Then, they keep on running like I wasn't even there! The nerve. If I hadn't been so shocked, I would've given them both a good smack upside the head.

Then, when the Mom was feeding me the stinky numnums, the sneaky one, Monkee, jumps up on the counter to try to eat my numnums! This time I did give him a good smack. They get their own stinky numnums in the bathroom. The ones on the counter are MINE. Luckily the Mom saw what was going on and squirted him with the Dreaded Spray Bottle. That will teach him to mess with my food.

Flock O' Fuzzies

I think The Mom is jealous of my popularity. She decided to start writing a blog about us cats called Flock O' Fuzzies. Why she would want to waste her time and energy on the Brats is beyond me. Now, if she wanted to talk about me more I have no problem with that as long as she doesn't wake me up in the process.

Oh ya...I'm mad at The Mom. She didn't give me my stinky numnums this morning. Why? I have no clue. She was supposedly "running late" for something. Nothing is as important as my numnums. I don't understand humans. At least the Brats didn't get their numnums either so it wasn't all that bad.

Cameras and Crazies

The Mom was running around yesterday with her camera trying to get pictures of all of us. Why she feels the need to do this is beyond me. The flash is bad enough as it is, but then she woke me up so she could get a better picture. Better picture? Is that really worth waking me up for? Bah. Well, here's the stupid picture...



The Mom was also complaining that the two youngest Brats, Loki and Monkee, were driving her nuts. Well duh! Where has she been? Those two run around destroying everything in their path. They've been doing it since they got here. And she wonders why I hide in the laundry basket all day long.

Laundry day sucks

I was having a good morning too. The Brats left me alone and I got a larger than normal serving of numnums. Then The Mom had to go and do laundry.

It's bad enough that she takes away my hiding spot from me with all the nice stinky clothes in it. But this time she also kicked me off the big sleepy spot a few times while she took the sheets off. I was just sleeping comfortably and wanted to be left alone to enjoy my nice full tummy. But no. She even took the pillows off! What's a girl to do.

My laundry basket is back but it's empty, which makes it uncomfortable to sleep in. Also, the sheets now don't have the nice stinky smells on them so that's no fun. It's going to take a good week for the nice smells to return too.

I hate Mondays.

The Laundry Basket is MINE

I am really mad at the Brats again (what else is new?). It is bad enough that one of the kitten Brats, Loki, has taken MY spot at the top of the cat tree. Now, they are trying to take MY spot on the Mom's pillow. I fight over it when I get there first, but it's hard trying to move the big, fat 15 pound Maine Coon off of it.

At least I have the laundry basket, though the other kitten Brat, Monkee, keeps trying to take it from me. I am sorry but NO ONE will take the laundry basket away from me. That is definitely MY spot. It's nice and stinky and smells like the Mom and the Dad. Good smells. I'm not going to have it contaminated by any of the Brats. If they try, I'll give them each a good smack upside the head.

I am NOT happy

Last night, I was nice and comfy in the big sleepy spot when the Mom and the Dad come into the room and move me off of the Mom's pillow. They had these weird pillows that are vertical instead of horizontal so they could sit on the sleepy spot with their backs against the wall. It didn't look very comfortable to me but what was really bad was that my sleepy spot was gone! I tried to sleep on top of the weird pillows but there wasn't room and the Mom kept picking me up off of there and moving me to the foot of the sleepy spot. They spent all evening that way! How rude!

Finally, around midnight, they removed the weird pillows and put the normal ones back. I was positive that this was all the Dad's fault. He always comes up with weird ideas and brings change. I got him back though. I spent the entire night on HIS pillow, kicking him off of it. So there!

New Sleepy Spot

The Mom got a new big sleepy spot for us. It's nice and comfy and all, but it's not as big as the old sleepy spot. This means that the Brats will be closer to me than I want.

I made sure to get my spot as soon as the sleepy spot was brought in. The Mom's pillow is the spot for the top cat and I made it mine the minute she put hers down on the sleepy spot. There is no way I'm letting any of the Brats have it.

I was a bit worried at first that we were moving again. The Mom and Dad got up really early and took everything out of the bedroom and took the old sleepy spot apart. Then they locked up all the Brats in the other bedroom. That was a sure sign that something big was up. I've been through seven moves in my life so I was kind of pissed off that we would be forced to go through another one. Thankfully, I wasn't put through that again.

The Dad is Sick

Today the Dad wasn't feeling too good. I could tell because he spent most of the day in the really big sleepy spot. I don't mind sharing the big sleepy spot with him. He stays in one spot and doesn't bother me for the most part, plus he knows to give me pets so he is allowed to join me.

However, most of the Brats decided to infringe upon our space in the big sleepy spot. They just come in to suck up all the attention away from me. I'm the Dad's "comfy cat" and the only one deserving of his attention. One of the younger Brats decided to sleep on his chest, which only I can do. The nerve! At least the Dad was smart enough to focus his attention on me and not the Brats. This is why I like this human. Otherwise, I would have to smack him upside the head.

The V-E-T

Yesterday, I was forced to go to the V-E-T. I don't know why the Mom feels the need to whipser it when she mentions it. She knows I'm deaf. Well, I'm not actually deaf. I am just very selective of what I hear. There is a difference.

The V-E-T lady did her usually poking and prodding and gave me some nasty pinches. She also took some of my blood. Supposedly the humans are worried that I've lost too much weight. Well, I would eat more if the Brats weren't constantly stealing my food. According to the Mom, they couldn't find anything conclusive so the V-E-T lady said to come back in another month for a checkup. As I said, give me more of the good stinky food and I'll gain weight in no time. Just keep the Brats away from my food.

The Mom does seem to be worried about me. I'm not going to worry though. I've been through worse. At one point, the V-E-T removed my...I think the humans called it a "spleen"...a long time ago when I was feeling really ill. This time I'm not feeling that bad. What would make me feel better is to be away from the Brats for a couple of hours, which going to the V-E-T did.

What was more traumatic than being poked was being put in the plastic box with one of the younger Brats, Fizzy. I showed her by hissing at her and forcing her to stay in the back of the plastic box. I wanted the view and I wasn't going to give it up to her.

It's Me

Hmmm....

Mom finally got off the computer and I can use it. It's about time. All she does is sit at the ugly piece of plastic for hours at a time when she should be petting me or chasing away all the Brats from my sleepy place.

The other day, Mom showed me these blogs where other cats talk about their lives. Well, they aren't the only ones that can do it. I need a way to vent anyways. The humans in my life are bad enough. However, the Mom decided to force me to live with seven Brats, who torment me day and night. Bah.

I guess I should write a bit about myself. I'm 15 years old and I think I still look pretty good for my age. I would look better if I just had the humans pampering me rather than the additional Brats. Why Mom felt the need to get more cats is beyond me. One would be bad enough but she had to get seven! At least the other human, whom I'm forced to call Dad, isn't too bad. He at least pets me and gives me treats. All the Brats do are chase me around, wake me up, and eat my food.