Oh brother

That little twit Loki caught me typing my blog up last night and decided that it was "too fun" not to do. So the idiot turned around and started typing up his own entry. Thankfully he's too stupid to figure out how to create his own blog and just posted up on the Mom's Flock O' Fuzzies blog.

Speaking of stupid, this morning he's running around, spaz'ing as usual. However, I discovered that he was chasing after...get this...NOTHING! I mean, if you're going to run around like a crazy cat, at least have a purpose in it. All he does is tear through the house for no reason what so ever. Why? I barely have enough energy to get from the bed to the food dish. Why waste it all on nothing? I don't understand kittens.

Mom is sick

The Mom hasn't been doing too good lately. She has been sick a lot. It's not the normal kind of sickies where you sniffle or throw up or anything like that. She is just sad a lot. The Dad said she has something called "depression" which makes her sad. I don't know why she gets sad when she has me around. I've been trying to remind her of that fact by sleeping on her pillow every chance I get. Maybe it's the Brats who are making her sad. I mean, they are so darn annoying and that makes me sad. Life would be so, so much easier without them around.

Anyways, I've taken over the job of helping the Mom not be sad. I've even been kicking the Brats off her pillow 'cause they can't do nearly as good a job as me as I've been around the longest and know her bestest. Also, my purring seems to help her so I've been doing a lot of that lately. I just want the Mom to get better.

One for the Brats

Normally, I would be very happy if all the Brats were sent away to someplace like...oh...Mars for the rest of their lives. This morning, though, they made their existence at least a little less annoying.

You see, normally The Mom and The Dad don't wake up until about 8am and then soon after The Mom feeds us the stinky numnums. For some reason, The Dad got up really early but The Mom didn't. Since he got up, he woke up all the Brats, including the two kittens. Well those two don't have a live brain cell between the two of them so they immediately thought it was feeding time. But where was The Mom? Still asleep. They went in and pounced and meowed and pounced some more on The Mom until she woke up and fed us! Their plan actually worked! It was completely undignified for a cat to behave this way but I may try a modified version of it myself if I wake up before The Mom.

Thanksgiving Numnums

Yesterday the Mom and the Dad went out for a good part of the day, which isn't anything unusual, but when they came home they brought with them bags of goodies. I don't know where they went but it must be heaven 'cause they had tons of turkey (the REAL stuff too, not the canned) and ham! Oh! I could smell all that stinky goodness from a mile away. The biggest problem? It wasn't all for me. The Mom actually gave some of that magnificent turkey to the Brats. Why oh why would she waste it on those twits who don't know how to enjoy the fine aromas and taste? All they do is scarf the food down in one swallow. I don't even think they chew it at all. What a waste of good food!

I, on the other hand, am a connoisseur. I sniff the turkey goodness and enjoy it's thick aroma. Then I take small little nibbles to savor its wonderful taste. I know that we only get these treats a couple of times a year so I'm going to enjoy ever single savory bite. Now if I can just convince the Mom to just give them to me...

Animal Meme

My good friend Pandora Meme'd me (whatever the hell that means). Since she's a good friend and brillant minds do think alike, I'll humor her and answer her questions:

Favorite Place to Sleep - Hmph. Well, I have three: The Big Sleepy Spot, the Mom's pillow, and the laundry basket. Then again, those are really the only places I sleep.

Favorite Music - Music? The sound of all the Brats getting locked up in kitty carriers to be taken away would be the sweetest music I ever heard. Other than that, I'd have to go with my own singing in the morning for stinky numnums.

Favorite Toy - Who needs toys when I have Brats to thwap upside the head constantly?

Favorite Flavor of Stinky Goodness - Ooh. This is a tough one. Any of the fishie types and I'm happy.

Favorite Human - The Mom, of course, but the Dad is growing on me.

Favorite Game - Whap all the Brats.

Favorite Window - Hmmm...Don't have one really. Too cold to sit by the windows for me. I do like looking out the bedroom window from The Big Sleepy Spot though.

Favorite Naughty Thing To Do - Chewing on plastic bags. Yummy. Don't know why the Mom and the Dad think it's "naughty" 'cause they taste so yummy.

Bad Morning

I was just sitting in the kitchen, waiting with the Brats for the Mom to give us our morning stinky numnums, when all of a sudden the Brat, Fizzy, walks up to me and starts whacking me on the head for no reason whatsoever! Well I hissed and whacked back, but since I have no front claws I couldn't do as much damage as I would've liked. At least the Mom saw what was going on and chased Fizzy away with the Dreaded Spray Bottle.

If that wasn't bad enough, then the really big Brat, Bailey, came up to me and started doing the same thing. What is it with these freaks? The Mom was really pissed off by this point 'cause they should know that I'm the Queen of the House and I should be left alone, so Bailey got the Dreaded Spray Bottle treatment as well.

I would've thought that with all I went through, the Mom would give me extra stinky numnums to help me feel better, but NO! She gave me my usual amount. What is wrong with this human? Can't she see how much I suffered? At least give me extra stinky numnums. Bah. I'll get her back later and throw up a hairball on her pillow.

Best of both worlds

Since the Brats have taken to the Mom's pillow and the Dad is giving me such a hard time about sleeping on his pillow, I was really grumpy about not having a good sleepy spot. Then, I realized that I could have the best of both worlds and sleep on BOTH!



Now neither the Brats nor the Dad can kick me off!

I don't know what I did....

...but I got TWO portions of the stinky numnums today. One in the morning and once in the evening. The best part? None of the Brats got any this evening so I was the only one. Nah na na na poo poo. Mwuahahaha. The Mom claims she's feeding me extra 'cause I need to gain weight. I think she's just using it as an excuse 'cause she feels so bad for forcing the Brats on me. I'm not going to complain though. As long as she keeps the Brats away from me when I'm eating, I'll be very happy.

Why Me?

Since the Mom's pillow has been violated and taken over by the youngest Brats, I decided to sleep on the Dad's pillow instead. For some reason, the Dad would not let me sleep on his pillow. It's not like I take up all that much space or anything. He kept on picking me up and putting me on the Mom's pillow. I DON'T want to sit there any more 'cause it smells like the Brats. I want my OWN pillow and since none of the other Brats sleep on his pillow, I might as well make it mine. I just don't know what his problem is. He takes up most of the big sleepy spot anyways. Why would he need the pillow? If the Dad keeps this up I'm going to have to smack him upside the head.

Enough already!

Bah.

The two youngest Brats have been driving me nuts lately. All they do is run around chasing after each other with no concept of what or who they are running over. All I wanted to do was go get my numnums when the two of them come zooming out of nowhere and crash right into me! Then, they keep on running like I wasn't even there! The nerve. If I hadn't been so shocked, I would've given them both a good smack upside the head.

Then, when the Mom was feeding me the stinky numnums, the sneaky one, Monkee, jumps up on the counter to try to eat my numnums! This time I did give him a good smack. They get their own stinky numnums in the bathroom. The ones on the counter are MINE. Luckily the Mom saw what was going on and squirted him with the Dreaded Spray Bottle. That will teach him to mess with my food.

Flock O' Fuzzies

I think The Mom is jealous of my popularity. She decided to start writing a blog about us cats called Flock O' Fuzzies. Why she would want to waste her time and energy on the Brats is beyond me. Now, if she wanted to talk about me more I have no problem with that as long as she doesn't wake me up in the process.

Oh ya...I'm mad at The Mom. She didn't give me my stinky numnums this morning. Why? I have no clue. She was supposedly "running late" for something. Nothing is as important as my numnums. I don't understand humans. At least the Brats didn't get their numnums either so it wasn't all that bad.

Cameras and Crazies

The Mom was running around yesterday with her camera trying to get pictures of all of us. Why she feels the need to do this is beyond me. The flash is bad enough as it is, but then she woke me up so she could get a better picture. Better picture? Is that really worth waking me up for? Bah. Well, here's the stupid picture...



The Mom was also complaining that the two youngest Brats, Loki and Monkee, were driving her nuts. Well duh! Where has she been? Those two run around destroying everything in their path. They've been doing it since they got here. And she wonders why I hide in the laundry basket all day long.

Laundry day sucks

I was having a good morning too. The Brats left me alone and I got a larger than normal serving of numnums. Then The Mom had to go and do laundry.

It's bad enough that she takes away my hiding spot from me with all the nice stinky clothes in it. But this time she also kicked me off the big sleepy spot a few times while she took the sheets off. I was just sleeping comfortably and wanted to be left alone to enjoy my nice full tummy. But no. She even took the pillows off! What's a girl to do.

My laundry basket is back but it's empty, which makes it uncomfortable to sleep in. Also, the sheets now don't have the nice stinky smells on them so that's no fun. It's going to take a good week for the nice smells to return too.

I hate Mondays.