She May Be Named Cat...

...but she sure doesn't have the grace of one.

Who? The Mom. You see, about a week and a half ago when she was leaving the lawyer's office after buying the new home, she sprained her ankle. Supposedly she passed out from the pain--wimp--and went to the hospital to make sure nothing was broken. The human V-E-T just gave her this silly brace that caused more pain than good.

Yesterday, she went to see a podatrist about her ankle 'cause it was still hurting her. She supposedly doesn't trust bone doctors with her ankles 'cause one really screwed up the other one when she broke it. The podatrist said that the Mom needs more protection for her ankle so now she's walking around in this big air cast thingie. And I thought she lacked agility before! Ha! She has this big huge thing attached to her leg and either trips over it or whacks it into something. It's really dangerous around us fuzzies 'cause we may end up being on the painful end of that thing. Thankfully she takes it off at night or else the Dad would be all black and blue. Hehe.

Painting the Day Away...

The humans are out today painting some rooms in the new house. I wish I could be there to see it. Neither of them are that agile and they are both huge klutzes. I can see them coming home covered in paint from head to toe. Ha!

Supposedly the master bedroom is going to be "merlot" and the Mom's office will be "butter." Umm...why are there paints named after foods and drinks? Whatever happened to "red" and "yellow?" The Dad is teasing the Mom 'cause she's going all looney over the fact that she can actually paint the walls something other than white which is why she's going for such "rich" colors. Since they're doing such a dark color in the bedroom, they have to put on a grey primer first. Bah. If I were them, I'd just paint it one color that would be nice and easy. Then again, you don't see cats painting 'cause it requires way too much effort.

There are no words...

...to express how pissed off I am at the Mom. She had the nerve to give me a BATH. OK, so I had some bad poopies that stuck to my butt, but it didn't warrant a full fledged water bath.

What's worse? The Dad took a picture of me. Boy am I glad that the poopies got on his pillow.

Winter's Finally Here

A lot of you asked how the Mom could get by not putting the winter sheets on the bed until January. Well, here in New Jersey, it hasn't felt like winter. The temperatures had been in the 50s and just the other day the Mom was wearing shorts! Since the Dad is a weird "it's too hot" type of person, the Mom had to wait until she had a good reason to put the winter sheets on: the temperatures are dropping into the teens this week.

I'm dreading the cold weather. These old bones feel the cold pretty badly. The Mom has been keeping the heated kitty bed on every night to help out the Annoying One and Monkee, both of whom are too darn skinny and have no fat whatsoever to keep them warm. What gets me is Bailey, who is way too tubby, loves sleeping on the heated bed too. Doesn't she have enough fat to keep her warm? Geeze. Of course, they make no room for me. Then again, Bailey takes up most of the darn thing anyways. I'm happy right now with the laundry basket since I can bury myself under the clothes. If that doesn't work, I'll crawl under the covers with the Mom at night.

Monday Morning Rantings

You know it's a Monday when you're sleeping all nice and comfy on the Big Sleepy Spot when the Mom yanks all the sheets off the bed and you go flying in the process. Bah. I can sort of forgive the Mom today. She officially is switching over from the "summer" sheets and stuff to the "winter" stuff. This means a much thicker and comfy comforter. But I'm still miffed at the whole flying part.

The Mom and Dad are "closing" on the new house on Friday. Shouldn't it be called an "opening" since they are technically opening the house to us? The Dad is kind of freaking out about the whole thing but the Mom isn't. As she put it, she's teaching five classes this semester and still working at the library. She's so beyond the freaking out part that she has become numb.

We've had a train load of moving people coming in to give us guesstimates for the cost of not only moving us but packing up everything as well. Oh that's going to be fun. The Mom is making sure nobody is allergic 'cause there are some parts of the house that have about 2" of cat fur and dust on them. Heck, it must be bad if both the Mom and the Dad don't want to pack it up and are leaving strangers to do it and pay out an extra $500 for it.

Have I mentioned how much I hate moving?

This is going to be my 8th move with the Mom. Oh geeze. Has it been that many? Damn. I've only been alive 16 years so that means a move every two years. Well, the Mom promised me this is going to be the last one for a very long time. I hope so. I'm tired of having to hunt out good, private hiding spots.

My New Title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Baroness Ayla the Expensive of Lower Wombleshire Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Expensive is fitting since I demand only the Extra Special Stinky Goodness now. Though if the Mom had her way it would be the Baroness Ayla the Expensive and Grumpy of Lower Wombleshire.

Wacky Wednesday...

...Fuzzy Feeding Frenzy

And the humans wonder why I wait until everybody else finishes eating before I even attempt to get at the food bowls. No way I'm going to fight with these bozos.

Thanks and a Really, Really Good Laugh

First off, before the Mom bites my head off, she wants me to relay thanks to all of you who passed along hugs and purrs. Her depression got really bad after she got the news and you guys helped her out a lot, so thanks.

Now you guys know I'm not one for posting links to videos or anything but the Mom found this link and even I had to laugh at it. This guy has the most infectious laugh we've ever heard and it had the Mom almost peeing in her pants 'cause she was laughing so hard herself. It's work safe and no swearing. Really funny. Just make sure you're not drinking anything when you're watching it 'cause it'll come out of your nose.

And ya, the Mom is trying to redesign this site for me. Ever since we switched over to the "new and improved" Blogger--bah--I've been having problems with my old site. However, this new coding is so confusing even to the Mom, who hand codes HTML all the time. She can't figure out how to change things like the background. Oh yes, Blogger put in all these new bells and whistles controls but you can't change the background color. What's with that? Even putting my picture up required some effort, or at least the Mom claims it did. I don't care as long as it looks nice and you guys can bask in all my glory.

The Poor Mom

The Mom is a little miffed right now. She was supposed to teach two classes at her college starting next week but she just got an e-mail, not even a phone call but an e-mail, informing her that a full-timer took one of her classes. It was a European history class which is her real favorite to teach. She was crying about it 'cause it was the one class she was really looking forward to and had prepped it an all.

Now normally I would say "great...this means more time with the Mom," right? But I know that she really loves her teaching and I hate anything that makes her upset. Also, this means she won't get paid as much which means my Extra Special Stinky Goodness supply may not be replenished. Bah. I told the Mom to bring me to the head of the department's office to give him a good thwapping but she said I couldn't do that. She wants to keep the one class she has left. Bah.

Wacky Wednesday...

...aka Baked Monkee Butt

OK...I know he's sitting up there 'cause of the warmth of the pilot light and all, but he's one of the idiots who TOOK MY BED.

New Year's Resolutions

First off, Happy New Year's everybody.

Since this is a time for resolutions (a stupid human tradition if you ask me, but one that is very popular for some strange reason), I decided to write my own resolutions:

1. Demand more Extra Special Stinky Goodness - The Mom sometimes mixes in the regular Stinky Goodness but I want the Extra Special type.
2. Thwap the Annoying One more - I don't think I hit my quota for 2006 so I think I should make up for it in 2007
3. Get more quality alone time with the Mom - She works too much now so I barely see her. I think I'll have to get off my tush and do some serious thwapping to get the Brats away from the Mom when I want time for her.
4. Keep the Brats out of my room in the new house - This, again, will require much thwapping, but it's a good way for me to stay in shape.
5. Get my damn bed back - It's MY bed and I'm going to do whatever it takes to get it back.

Oh wait. The Mom is telling me that these aren't "real" resolutions. Supposedly resolutions are ways to improve yourself. Well duh. All the things I listed are ways to improve myself. Just because I'm not being stupid and saying "I will lose 30lbs this year" like you are doesn't mean that I'm not improving myself. Humans should learn from us and how to truly improve their lives. Maybe the world will be a better place.