All About Me

Since Beau decided to tag me, I guess I should fill out this meme. I don't know why you would want to know this stuff about me, but I'll do it.

A) Four places I have lived:

1. A really tiny apartment in New Paltz, NY
2. A slightly bigger apartment in Binghamton, NY
3. Another teeny apartment in Montclair, NJ
4. A townhouse somewhere out in the boonies with the Humans

B) Four things I love to watch:

1. Birds
2. TV
3. Any type of bug
4. My food being poured into a bowl

C) Four places I have been outside my home:

1. Cape Cod
2. Chappaqua, NY (where the Mom's parents used to live)
3. Outside our apartment one time that I fell out the window (long time ago)
4. Too many V-E-Ts to count

D) Four websites I visit daily:

1. Gmail (email)
2. Any of the cat blogs on my blogroll
3. Official Stinky Goodness website
4. Any website that could tell me how to get rid of the Annoying One

E) Four of my favorite foods:

1. Stinky Goodness
2. Cheese
3. Ham
4. Did I mention cheese?

F) Four places I would rather be right now:

1. Any place without the Brats
2. Any place free of the Annoying One
3. Any place that has unlimited supplies of Stinky Goodness
4. Any place that has unlimited supplies of cheese

G)Four toys I have owned and played with:

1. Anything with catnip
2. The Annoying One's head (didn't own it...thwapped it quite a bit though)
3. Feather balls
4. Did I mention anything with catnip?

H) Four nicknames my family have called me:

1. Fuzzy
2. Ayla-Fuzzy
3. Grumpy Girl
4. Stop Chewing the Plastic Bags!

I) Regarding Catnip:

1. Love it! (duh...stupid question)
2. It's nice
3. Could take it or leave it
4. Don't like it or can't have it

J) Regarding Cat Grass:

1. Love it
2. It's nice
3. Could take it or leave it
4. Don't like it or can't have it

K) First four things I'd buy after winning the lottery:

1. Buy another house for the humans that only I would be allowed in
2. Lots of Stinky Goodness
3. Lots of nip
4. Lots of cheese

L) Four things I do besides eat, sleep, and litterbox:

1. Blog...duh
2. Thwap the Annoying One
3. Thwap the rest of the Brats
4. Yowl at the Mom to feed me

M) Four things I want to do this summer:

1. Sleep
2. Thwap the Annoying One
3. Find a nice warm sun beam to curl up in
4. Eat lots of Stinky Goodness

N) My four most prized possessions that have limited value to anyone else:

1. My nip...it's mine dammit
2. The laundry basket
3. The Mom's pillow
4. Any cheese in the house

O) What I’m going to do before tomorrow is over:

1. Thwap the Annoying One at least twice
2. Yowl at the Mom
3. Sleep lots
4. Eat Stinky Goodness

P) Which of the following is your favorite place to hide and play?

1. The closet
2. In the laundry
3. On the Mom's chair (she keeps it pushed in so you can't see me unless you pull the chair out)
4. Wait....I don't really hide or play. Never mind.

Q) Four other "pets" your staff have kept with you:

1. The Brats. That's eight too many

R) Four furiends I tag to respond:

1. Anybody who hasn't been tagged yet

Me? Snarky? Never.

The Mom said this morning that I was being snarkier than usual. Hmph. Just because it snowed and she didn't have to go to school until 11am doesn't mean that she shouldn't feed me at my usual 5:30am. I have routines and I stick to them and she needs to understand that.

Taking Care of Sick Humans

Sorry I haven't written in while. We had all been busy getting settled into the new place when the Mom and the Dad both decided to get sick. It's bad enough when one of them gets sick. At least then the one human takes care of the other and we fuzzies only have to go in and do some emotional backup. With both of them sick, we have to work overtime with the purrs and snuggles.

I do have one complaint about the new house: it's FREAKING COLD!!!! Turn up the heat already. You would think with two sick humans, they would want the house to be nice and warm, right? Bah. This place is worse than the last place. The Mom does think that the temperature gauge on the thermostat is a bit off so she plans on buying a little indoor thermometer to check it. But in the mean time can you please turn up the heat?

At least the Mom's office is a smidge warmer than the rest of the house. I have officially claimed it as My Room. I'll let a couple of the Brats in to visit but it is mine. M. I. N. E. Mine. It also gets the most sun during the day and has a really big window (I can see why the Mom put her office in here). Here's a pic of me alseep on one of the boxes in the office. Yes, the Mom has a lot of junk and will probably be spending the next three years unpacking.

My Palace

I've survived the move. It was long and a huge hardship. The movers took two whole days packing up all of the junk the humans have collected and moving it to the new house. Thankfully I was only locked up in the bathroom for part of one day, but it was a very long day. I can't believe the Mom locked me up not only with the Annoying One but three other Brats as well. The Maine Coons were able to go to the new place but where am I? Stuck in a tiny bathroom freezing my little tushie off.

I have to give the Mom some credit. She said she would buy a really nice house for us to live in and I think she did a pretty good job. It's got multiple floors with lots of stairs to sleep on and plenty of room for me to stay away from all the Brats. If they are on one floor, I just go to another one and it's nice and quiet. Amazingly, I'm actually happy with the place.

Now technically the house is in the humans' names, but you know what? This is going to be my palace. I've already claimed most of the house and since I'm the oldest kitty, I shall be the Queen of Everything inside of it.

Of course the Brats are ruining my new home with them running all over the place and going nuts. I can't tell who is having more fun. Even Bomber, who is the most laid back of the Brats, has been sighted spazzing around.

I will post some pictures as soon as the Mom finds the camera. It's in a box. Somewhere. Like everything else. Heck, I'm stuck using the Mom's laptop 'cause that's buried in her office behind fifty boxes.

P.S. The Mom is hurting and exhausted. Of course, she's working really long days everyday this week. If she doesn't get better, it's all her own fault.

Let the Panic Begin!

We're moving tomorrow and you know what? The humans aren't even ready for it. According to the Mom, the bedroom needs a minimum of one coat of paint, no blinds have been put up, and they still haven't cleaned the new house yet. On top of that, I don't think they've packed one box of stuff yet.

The Mom isn't too worried about that last part. Since she sprained her ankle, she decided to have the movers pack up all the stuff. Oh I feel sorry for them. There are places in the apartment where boxes have sat for the 3+ years we've been here that must be covered with a good inch coating of dust and cat hair. Even that thought scares me. The Mom did say if the workers did a good job and didn't complain she'll give them a good tip. She is good that way.

Speaking of the Mom, her ankle is getting worse. This week has been hard on her. If she wasn't already working a 12 hour day (a good portion of that is on her feet), what little free time she's had has been spent painting the new place. When she came home from teaching last night, she looked utterly fried. I'm starting to worry about her. Of course she tried to humor me and say things will be better after we move. I hope so. That damn air cast came a little too close to my tail more than once.

I'll update you all either tomorrow night or Sunday to let you know how everything went. At least the humans were smart enough to get the broadband access hooked up first.

She May Be Named Cat...

...but she sure doesn't have the grace of one.

Who? The Mom. You see, about a week and a half ago when she was leaving the lawyer's office after buying the new home, she sprained her ankle. Supposedly she passed out from the pain--wimp--and went to the hospital to make sure nothing was broken. The human V-E-T just gave her this silly brace that caused more pain than good.

Yesterday, she went to see a podatrist about her ankle 'cause it was still hurting her. She supposedly doesn't trust bone doctors with her ankles 'cause one really screwed up the other one when she broke it. The podatrist said that the Mom needs more protection for her ankle so now she's walking around in this big air cast thingie. And I thought she lacked agility before! Ha! She has this big huge thing attached to her leg and either trips over it or whacks it into something. It's really dangerous around us fuzzies 'cause we may end up being on the painful end of that thing. Thankfully she takes it off at night or else the Dad would be all black and blue. Hehe.

Painting the Day Away...

The humans are out today painting some rooms in the new house. I wish I could be there to see it. Neither of them are that agile and they are both huge klutzes. I can see them coming home covered in paint from head to toe. Ha!

Supposedly the master bedroom is going to be "merlot" and the Mom's office will be "butter." Umm...why are there paints named after foods and drinks? Whatever happened to "red" and "yellow?" The Dad is teasing the Mom 'cause she's going all looney over the fact that she can actually paint the walls something other than white which is why she's going for such "rich" colors. Since they're doing such a dark color in the bedroom, they have to put on a grey primer first. Bah. If I were them, I'd just paint it one color that would be nice and easy. Then again, you don't see cats painting 'cause it requires way too much effort.

There are no words...

...to express how pissed off I am at the Mom. She had the nerve to give me a BATH. OK, so I had some bad poopies that stuck to my butt, but it didn't warrant a full fledged water bath.

What's worse? The Dad took a picture of me. Boy am I glad that the poopies got on his pillow.

Winter's Finally Here

A lot of you asked how the Mom could get by not putting the winter sheets on the bed until January. Well, here in New Jersey, it hasn't felt like winter. The temperatures had been in the 50s and just the other day the Mom was wearing shorts! Since the Dad is a weird "it's too hot" type of person, the Mom had to wait until she had a good reason to put the winter sheets on: the temperatures are dropping into the teens this week.

I'm dreading the cold weather. These old bones feel the cold pretty badly. The Mom has been keeping the heated kitty bed on every night to help out the Annoying One and Monkee, both of whom are too darn skinny and have no fat whatsoever to keep them warm. What gets me is Bailey, who is way too tubby, loves sleeping on the heated bed too. Doesn't she have enough fat to keep her warm? Geeze. Of course, they make no room for me. Then again, Bailey takes up most of the darn thing anyways. I'm happy right now with the laundry basket since I can bury myself under the clothes. If that doesn't work, I'll crawl under the covers with the Mom at night.

Monday Morning Rantings

You know it's a Monday when you're sleeping all nice and comfy on the Big Sleepy Spot when the Mom yanks all the sheets off the bed and you go flying in the process. Bah. I can sort of forgive the Mom today. She officially is switching over from the "summer" sheets and stuff to the "winter" stuff. This means a much thicker and comfy comforter. But I'm still miffed at the whole flying part.

The Mom and Dad are "closing" on the new house on Friday. Shouldn't it be called an "opening" since they are technically opening the house to us? The Dad is kind of freaking out about the whole thing but the Mom isn't. As she put it, she's teaching five classes this semester and still working at the library. She's so beyond the freaking out part that she has become numb.

We've had a train load of moving people coming in to give us guesstimates for the cost of not only moving us but packing up everything as well. Oh that's going to be fun. The Mom is making sure nobody is allergic 'cause there are some parts of the house that have about 2" of cat fur and dust on them. Heck, it must be bad if both the Mom and the Dad don't want to pack it up and are leaving strangers to do it and pay out an extra $500 for it.

Have I mentioned how much I hate moving?

This is going to be my 8th move with the Mom. Oh geeze. Has it been that many? Damn. I've only been alive 16 years so that means a move every two years. Well, the Mom promised me this is going to be the last one for a very long time. I hope so. I'm tired of having to hunt out good, private hiding spots.

My New Title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Baroness Ayla the Expensive of Lower Wombleshire Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Expensive is fitting since I demand only the Extra Special Stinky Goodness now. Though if the Mom had her way it would be the Baroness Ayla the Expensive and Grumpy of Lower Wombleshire.

Wacky Wednesday...

...Fuzzy Feeding Frenzy

And the humans wonder why I wait until everybody else finishes eating before I even attempt to get at the food bowls. No way I'm going to fight with these bozos.

Thanks and a Really, Really Good Laugh

First off, before the Mom bites my head off, she wants me to relay thanks to all of you who passed along hugs and purrs. Her depression got really bad after she got the news and you guys helped her out a lot, so thanks.

Now you guys know I'm not one for posting links to videos or anything but the Mom found this link and even I had to laugh at it. This guy has the most infectious laugh we've ever heard and it had the Mom almost peeing in her pants 'cause she was laughing so hard herself. It's work safe and no swearing. Really funny. Just make sure you're not drinking anything when you're watching it 'cause it'll come out of your nose.

And ya, the Mom is trying to redesign this site for me. Ever since we switched over to the "new and improved" Blogger--bah--I've been having problems with my old site. However, this new coding is so confusing even to the Mom, who hand codes HTML all the time. She can't figure out how to change things like the background. Oh yes, Blogger put in all these new bells and whistles controls but you can't change the background color. What's with that? Even putting my picture up required some effort, or at least the Mom claims it did. I don't care as long as it looks nice and you guys can bask in all my glory.

The Poor Mom

The Mom is a little miffed right now. She was supposed to teach two classes at her college starting next week but she just got an e-mail, not even a phone call but an e-mail, informing her that a full-timer took one of her classes. It was a European history class which is her real favorite to teach. She was crying about it 'cause it was the one class she was really looking forward to and had prepped it an all.

Now normally I would say "great...this means more time with the Mom," right? But I know that she really loves her teaching and I hate anything that makes her upset. Also, this means she won't get paid as much which means my Extra Special Stinky Goodness supply may not be replenished. Bah. I told the Mom to bring me to the head of the department's office to give him a good thwapping but she said I couldn't do that. She wants to keep the one class she has left. Bah.

Wacky Wednesday...

...aka Baked Monkee Butt

OK...I know he's sitting up there 'cause of the warmth of the pilot light and all, but he's one of the idiots who TOOK MY BED.

New Year's Resolutions

First off, Happy New Year's everybody.

Since this is a time for resolutions (a stupid human tradition if you ask me, but one that is very popular for some strange reason), I decided to write my own resolutions:

1. Demand more Extra Special Stinky Goodness - The Mom sometimes mixes in the regular Stinky Goodness but I want the Extra Special type.
2. Thwap the Annoying One more - I don't think I hit my quota for 2006 so I think I should make up for it in 2007
3. Get more quality alone time with the Mom - She works too much now so I barely see her. I think I'll have to get off my tush and do some serious thwapping to get the Brats away from the Mom when I want time for her.
4. Keep the Brats out of my room in the new house - This, again, will require much thwapping, but it's a good way for me to stay in shape.
5. Get my damn bed back - It's MY bed and I'm going to do whatever it takes to get it back.

Oh wait. The Mom is telling me that these aren't "real" resolutions. Supposedly resolutions are ways to improve yourself. Well duh. All the things I listed are ways to improve myself. Just because I'm not being stupid and saying "I will lose 30lbs this year" like you are doesn't mean that I'm not improving myself. Humans should learn from us and how to truly improve their lives. Maybe the world will be a better place.

Happy Boxing Day!

OK. Now this is a holiday I can get into. This means I can go around thwapping all the Brats, right? What? No? Then why the heck is it called "Boxing Day?" Doesn't that mean I can box all day long? Bah. You humans take all the fun out of everything.

Well, I would post a picture of me enjoying my new heated fuzzy bed but of course all the Maine Coons decided to claim it first. The Mom has a couple of pictures of Frankie and Bailey on it but I'm not going to post those 'cause the bed was supposed to be for me. MINE!!! Double bah.

Merry Kissymas!

Bah. It sounds more fun than Merry Christmas. Just wanted to wish everybody a very Happy Christmas (or Happy Kissymas). I'm going to enjoy the heated bed the Mom and Dad got me and all the catnip too.

Wacky Wednesday...

...aka Fried Monkee Butt Part II

I don't know what it is with Monkee and frying pans but here he is again. This time he's lounging in the large frying pan. He is one weird cat.



Speaking of weird, the Mom is really going over the edge. As she puts it, she's so fried she's "toasty." There's only a week and a half of school left and she's got a huge pile of tests and papers to grade and she's starting to act all silly and stuff. Supposedly stress does that to humans. Personally, I think she should just take a nap since I find that's the best way to avoid stress.

Google, Wikipedia, and Blogger

I was trolling some of the blogs earlier and I saw that Max had "Googled" himself. So I figured, "ah what the heck" and I "Googled" myself. First I did "Ayla the Grump" and I was all over the front page, which was pretty cool. Then, I did just "Ayla" and I'm stuck on the second page. It's top of the second page, but it's still the second page. Bah. I mean, I realize that I was named after a character in a book, but I'm real. Thus, I should be more important.

One of the things I did notice was that there was a Wikipedia entry for Ayla. Of course, I had to read it. Now, as you know, the Mom is a professor and she's always telling her students to never use Wikipedia as a source because it can be constantly edited and people can write any sort of poop that they want to. Well, now I know why:

It is also indirectly related to the English word aura which has its etymological roots in Greek and Hebrew languages. In ancient Hebrew, the word aur, meaning "illumination", but also "radiance," "happiness" and "joy,"...

"Radiance?" "Happiness?" "Joy?" Ya right. They definitely aren't talking about me.

So anyways, I'd figure I'd share this little tidbit with you all when I noticed that there's a new version of Blogger to be had. Since I try to be a very technically savvy kitty, I figured I would try it. Since when did Google take over Blogger? I had to create a Google account and do all this pain in the tush stuff to get the new Blogger. What's that all about? All I know is if this makes Blogger any more annoying than it already is, I may have to create my own webpage. Bah.

New House Pics

The Mom and Dad went to inspect the new house today. They had to hire some guy to walk around it and make sure it wasn't falling apart or anything like that. The Mom was really excited when she got home so I'm assuming it went well. She did tell me that the heating system did work really well which is what's important to me. Then again, with my luck, the Dad will keep the new place as cold as the old one. Bah.

Anywho...the Mom gave me some pictures to share with you all.


The front of the house


This is the dining room on the left. The stairs go up to the loft and the bedrooms, and go down to the living room


Fireplace in the living room. I'll be curling up near there a lot


And the Mom said she'll set up a nice spot for me in this closet. At least I get my own closet. Hopefully the Brats will stay out of it, but that's probably just wishful thinking.

What I Want for Christmas

This:



The Brats, trapped underneath the laundry basket, each and every day.

Turn Up the Darn Heat Already!

OK...I know you were wearing shorts last week and that this has been an unusually warm Fall, but it's over now. It's cold outside and it's cold inside. I mean look at this:



Fizzy was so cold that she wrapped herself in the Mom's blanket on top of the big Sleepie Spot to get warm. Isn't that enough proof? Do you need icicles to form on our noses before you turn up the darn heat? We're freezing here and we have fur!

I'm not yelling at the Mom about this either 'cause I know she's cold too. She's always bundled up as well. It's the Dad who is the bane of our existence right now. That human is always hot and he's always opening the windows. Maybe I need to poop on his pillow to get the point across.

We'll Miss You Kosho

I just found out that my cousin Kosho crossed the Rainbow Bridge last weekend. I never knew him but he came from the same original family that Moose, Frankie, and Moto came from. My uncle Marty adopted Kosho and Moto and then moved away to Providence so I never really got to know him, but if he's anything like the other cats he lived with, he was a very special cat.

The Mom is really upset about his passing. Supposedly he was very sick but the V-E-Ts couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. He just got sicker and sicker until his little body couldn't take it any more. It's nice to know that he's ok now and can run around playing with bugs and eating endless amounts of Stinky Goodness.

We love you Kosho.

Bah, Bah, and Double Bah

The Mom has decided that the Annoying One is going to get Stinky Goodness again. She says that he's getting too skinny and hopes that he'll eat more with the wet food. This is bad enough because I have to endure that pain in the tush when I'm eating again. The really bad part is that he's getting the Extra Special Stinky Goodness too! Why should he get it? He doesn't deserve it. I'm the oldest and the more superior of the cats which means only I should get it. He can have the regular Stinky Goodness. The Extra Special kind is mine and mine alone.

Oh ya, the Mom said the people signed the contract so it's official: we're moving to a new house. She says that she'll let me have the run of her office in the house but it won't be all mine. See? I told you she'd pull that on me. She did say it had a nice closet in which she'll put a nice pillow for me. Bah. I want the laundry basket, not a pillow. I like sleeping on the stinky clothes. I may have to fight with her over this one. Then again, she says that she'll have her own washing machine so the laundry won't pile up like it is now. Well what's the fun in that?

Flannel Comfort Goodness

The Mom got new flannel sheets for the bed and they are really nice and soft. Of course, the first thing I'm going to do is assume my position on the Mom's pillow and take a nice nap, right?



Then the Mom grabs that stupid flashie thingie and wakes me up. Bah. Can't a girl sleep in peace?



And she wonders why I'm grumpy all the time.

Oh boy....here we go

The Mom got a phone call this morning from the realtor. The owners of the townhouse countered our counter-counter offer and the Mom accepted it. Tomorrow they are driving up to Vernon to sign a new contract with the new offer price. This means it's official: we're moving. Bah.

You'd think I'd be freaking out right now, eh? Well it's nothing compared to the Mom. She did this "happy dance" thingie and squeaked in delight. Then she started freaking out about lawyers, inspectors, movers, and a whole bunch of other things. Right now I think she is in shock.

On the bright side, I did get lots of turkey and ham. The Grandpa sent the Dad home with a whole turkey breast just for us!

Happy Turkey Day

Happy Turkey Day everybody! I hope you all get to eat lots of turkey bits. The Mom and the Dad are going to the Grandparents' house for dinner and she promised me that she will come back with not only turkey but ham as well. The Mom is weird in that she doesn't like turkey so the Grandpa makes ham especially for her. You won't hear me complain about that.

So what am I thankful for? Hmm...good question. I am thankful for:

• The Extra Special Stinky Goodness - How can you not be thankful for that?
  
• The Mom - You need to be thankful for the one who feeds you, especially when it's the Extra Special Stinky Goodness.
• The Dad - He's slowly learning how to do pets properly.
• The Laundry Basket - MY place that nobody else can have.
• The Annoying One - Hey, when I need to thwap someone upside the head he's a perfect target.
• Cheese - You can't forget Cheesey Goodness.
• The Cat Blogging Community - It's always good to have someone to vent to and sympathize with.
  

P.S. The Mom finally updated her blog. Can you believe it. It has only been like three months since she last wrote in it so she asked me to tell you all that it's active again.

Tired Out Tuesday

At least it is for the Mom. She is really wiped out. Today she taught in the morning, worked all day at the library, and then her and Dad drove up to Vernon to put an official offer on the house they like. The Mom confided that she was really scared about the whole thing. Um. Ok. If you're really scared then why are you doing it? Sounds kind of silly if you ask me. Though personally I'm starting to like the idea of a bigger place. A bigger place means less chance of me running into any of the Brats. I still doubt I'll get my own room but the Mom did say there were a LOT of closets, which means that I probably will get my own closet. That would be a Good Thing.

The Stabby Place

Sorry I haven't written in a bit. The Mom still won't show me how to turn on the computer and she has been really busy with the house hunting and school and stuff. I've been trying to get the Dad to show me by threatening to poop on his pillow but he knows that it's one of my favorite spots and won't do it. Bah.

Anyways, I got dragged to the V-E-T on Friday, or as Max calls it, the "Stabby Place." The latter is just a much more fitting term. It was bad enough being put in The Box. I almost got away a couple of times 'cause the Dad was trying to do it, but then the Mom showed up and stuffed me in it. Bah. It's a long drive to the V-E-T, about 1/2 hour away. Dr. D. is ok but this time she stabbed me with one of those needle thingies! She said I was due for my rabies vaccine. Rabies? How the frick am I going to get rabies? I never go outside. I think it was just an excuse to inflict torture on me. I know, I know. I need it anyways, but that doesn't mean I can't whine about it. At least this time she didn't stick a thermometer up my butt.

Oh ya, the Mom and Dad went to look at some places today and they think they've picked out a good one. It's really big and has sliding glass doors for us to look out of. The Mom also said it's three bedrooms and there's still a chance I get my own room. Ya right. She just wants to make me feel better about moving. I HATE moving.

Some Good News

The Mom got the information from the insurance company and unless there is more damage found, they are not going to consider it totalled. She was very, very happy when she heard this but then she started to cry again. Supposedly these were "tears of joy." Then, soon after that, she got her really mean look in her eyes and said "the &%#$ers aren't going to get away with this" and mumbled something about a bettered business bureau. Bah. Humans are weird.

Anyways, what's even better was that since we were good kitties in comforting the Mom she went out and bought us the SPECIAL Stinky Goodness. You know the stuff that's got veggies in it and is really expensive? She bought a whole bunch of cans and they are only going to be for me and Frankie. Too bad I've got to share, but it's better than nothing.

Car Problems and House Hunting

Normally, I have no sympathy to humans when they get upset about stuff 'cause most of the time the stuff that happens is their fault. This time, however, I do feel sorry for the Mom.

Last week, the Mom brought her car to the dealership to get the oil changed. Well, while the car was there, someone must've hit it 'cause the hood was bent and the bumper damaged. Since she tends to be oblivious, she didn't notice it for a couple of days. When she went to confront the dealership they gave her a hard time and refused to pay for the damage. That's bad enough, right?

Well, today she went to the mechanics to get a guesstimate about how much it's going to cost to fix it. There was a lot more damage to the car than you can tell from the outside and the guy told the Mom that the insurance company may just consider the car totalled rather than pay to fix it. Now I don't know about you guys but the Mom gets really attached to her cars. She had her first car for ten years and this one for eight. She even has a silly name for it: the Blue Baron. When she got home she was crying that she would lose her car and that they can't afford to buy a newer one right now since they are about to get a mortgage.

I'm sorry but anybody that makes the Mom cry deserves a good thwap upside the head with additional poopinosity on their pillows. Nobody makes the Mom cry and gets away with it. Bah.

On top of this, the humans are stressing out over house hunting. The Mom said they saw a lot of nice places but there was one major thing wrong with each of them. They'll be going out again in a couple of weeks looking at more of them. The Mom said a couple of them had three bedrooms which means I might actually get my own room. That would be so nice, but I'm not holding my breath. With my luck the Doofi will claim the room before I have a chance to get into the place.

When in doubt...

...hide.

The Doofi were really making a racket last night and were spazzing like crazy all throughout the house. It was bad enough that they ran over me on the Mom's pillow but they even ran over me when I tried to get some sleep in the laundry basket! I said "enough is enough" and looked around for the best spot away from those two loons. It was an unconventional spot for me but it worked: on top of the TV in the bedroom. The cable box was nice and warm to sit on and most important, the Doofi couldn't reach me up there. Unfortunately, it's not really big enough to sleep on but it works at a temporary refuge.



Oh Mom? I think you need to dust.

Mortgage? What's a mortgage?

The Mom has made the decision that she wants to buy a condo or a townhouse. She says that the Doofi (Loki and Monkee) are just way to big for our current place and she's sick of renting. So, she has been on the phone for the last few days getting "quotes" for this thing called a mortgage. I don't know what is it, but it's driving the Mom close to hysterics. She has been digging for papers and writing all this stuff down, mumbling about arms and percentage points and closing costs.

All I know is that means we'll eventually have to move. The Mom says it won't be until the spring, but it's still moving. I HATE moving. I don't want to move. I finally found all the comfy places here and I don't want to have to search a new place. Also, it means either being in The Box or locked in a small room with the Brats for the good part of a day. That is definitely not fun.

However, the Mom said the places she's looking at are at least twice as big as our place now and promised me lots of good hiding spots away from the Brats. If that's the case, it might be worth it. Bribing me with in my own room with lots of windows and Stinky Goodness would help. Hint, hint, Mom.

Speaking of Stinky Goodness, the Dad brought home sushi today for lunch and shared it only with the Mom. Salmon too. Bah. I may just have to puke on his pillow tonight when he's asleep.

Happy Halloween? Bah

I hate this holiday. I hate it, hate it, hate it. Why? 'Cause every 15 minutes the darn doorbell rings. I don't know about you, but we have a very LOUD doorbell. Since the house isn't all that big, it's loud everywhere in the house, even in my laundry basket. So, I'm in the closet, nicely curled up in the Mom's laundry, and the doorbell keeps on ringing. How is a girl supposed to sleep? After a while, it becomes a royal pain.

Some of the Brats are happy about it because all these kids knocking at the door means lots of pets and new smells. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. I just want some peace and quiet. Is that too much to ask for?

Fried Monkee Butt

I swear. Monkee is turning into a real weirdo. Yesterday he was sitting in the frying pan on the stove, doing nothing but sitting there. Why? I have no freaking clue. Weird cat.



P.S. The Mom says to ignore the messy stove. It's the Dad's turn to clean it and we all know how much male humans love to clean.

Well I Was Comfortable...

Last night, I was sleeping on the Mom's pillow, all nice and comfortable, when all of a sudden Loki plops down on me. Not only is he on top of me, he spreads himself all over the pillow. As you can image, I'm stuck under this moose cat and not all too thrilled with it. The Mom tried to make me feel better by cooing at me and petting me, thinking how "cute" this way. I wonder if she'll think it so "cute" when I poop in her shoes tomorrow morning?

After a while, I realized that I was kind of stuck in the situation so I just gave up and went to sleep. Then, about five minutes later, the Mom decides to move all the pillows to "make it easier" for us to "sleep together on the pillows." You know what this means? Both Loki and I went flying as she moved the pillows. At this point I was really mad and just stomped away to go sleep in the laundry basket.

On the bright side, the Mom is really miserable now. She's off grading papers. I can tell that the class did a miserable job because she's moaning and complaining as she's reading them. Hehe.

It's Official...

...the Mom is now a true Nerd (according to her).

Earlier this week, she got promoted from being a Library Assistant to being a Librarian. I thought humans needed a special degree for this but the town she works for is so small that anybody can be one.

This is really cool 'cause it means she gets paid lots more money--which means more Stinky Goodness for me--but according to the Mom it also increases her Nerd factor. I have no clue what a Nerd is, but if the Mom is one, it can't be all that bad. She nice, and smart, and knows how to treat me right most of the time (it's not perfect because she keeps bringing in Brats).

The Mom is really happy about this promotion 'cause she seems to really like the job and the people she works with. If she's happy, I'm happy. Just so long as she remembers to give me the daily minimum requirement of attention I need each day. Oh ya, and my Stinky Goodness.

Sick is Bad

On Friday night, the Mom said she felt a "tickle" in her throat. Personally, I thought she just swallowed a bunch of cat hairs, but in human terms that means she thinks she was getting sick.

And sick she was. The Mom didn't get out of bed the entire day. She even fell asleep during the Leafs game last night (she never misses Hockey Night in Canada), which means she really must not have felt good.

I did my feline duty of sleeping on her head all day, but I guess she didn't delegate her human duties to the Dad. You see, I DID NOT GET MY STINKY GOODNESS yesterday. Nope. None. Nada. Zilch. Now I'm not blaming the Mom 'cause she was really sick. But hello? Dad? What were you doing all day? Couldn't you have given us Stinky Goodness?

When the Mom got up this morning, she realized the error and made sure that we got our Stinky Goodness. She gave me and Frankie lots of pets and apologized. I'll forgive her. This time.

Some days...

...I just can't win.

It's bad enough that the Mom isn't home all the time now to give me my Stinky Goodness when I want it, right?

Well, the other night, the Dad got home before the Mom so I figured I would go and yowl at him until he fed me. Simple, eh? So, I perch myself up on top of the Mom's scrapbooking case and was about to yowl at the Dad when I'm all of a sudden knocked over by Frankie. It seems he was on one of his typical nip-highs and spazzing out. Normally that doesn't bother me, but this time he was preventing me from my duty of yowling for food. That's not cool. I turned around and yelled "oh no...you did not just do that!" and thwapped him back into sobriety.

By the time I regained the appropriate mental state for a good yowl, the Dad had already walked into the other room. Once he sits down for the evening, nothing is going to budge him. My moment was lost and I was forced to wait for the Mom, who didn't come home until two hours later.

Bah.

No Sneeze Kitties? What the...

The Mom was reading the New York Times and saw this article about genetically mutated hypo-allergenic kitties. OK, they are kitties, but they are mutant kitties. I'm sorry. It's bad enough that the humans add growth hormones to Moo-cows and change the genetics on corn to make it more durable (or something like that).

This is so freaking stupid.

Oh ya, you can give me the whole argument of "well this means people can enjoy the company of cats who couldn't before." Two problems with this. One, if they really loved cats, they would put up with the sneezies. Heck, the Dad is highly allergic to cats and he's still with the Mom six years and nine cats later. He loves all of us, including the Annoying one who is a huge bundle of allergy causing snot. Secondly, there are so many kitties out there who need homes. Why should some idiot spend $4,000 on a cat when there are so many loving little furballs at the shelters who can go home right now for the cost of dinner at a fast food place?

*steps off soap box and goes to thwap someone*

The Mom and Stuff

The Mom seems to be enjoying her new jobs. She increased her hours at the library to make a little extra money. When she is home, she's working on lesson plans and other school work which means she is still hogging the computer.

And no, no computer for me. The Mom says she doesn't trust me with full access to the internet. What is she worried about? It's not like I plan on posting naked pictures of her on the 'net. Ewww...ok that thought needs to clear my head.

Amazingly, I've been in a rather good mood this past week. The Brats have been leaving me alone and the temperatures have been comfortable, which means no aching bones. Even the Mom commented on it, like she was baffled by me not being grumpy. Hello? Just because I'm gumpy occasionally doesn't mean it's a permanent mood thing. Geeze. And like she doesn't get moody. Bah.

The Mom and the Dad are planning a weekend away and are thinking of bringing one of us along. I thought about it, since the idea of getting away from the Brats for a couple of days sounds like heaven, right? Then the Mom mention that it would mean a two hour car trip. In the Box. Ugh. Brats...or...the Box....Brats....or....the Box. Hmmm. Brats. I'm just hoping that they'll take the Annoying One. Ah...a weekend away from the Annoying One. Not exactly paradise, but close enough.

Thank You!

I just wanted to thank everybody for coming to my party yesterday. I would've posted this earlier but I'm still reeling from all those niptinis Frankie was making for me. He makes a wicked good one too. I just hope next year I'll have a party with just as many friends (if not more), and this time I'll make sure that we have some fresh Stinky Goodness on hand so you won't have to bring your own.

P.S. The Mom and the Dad got me lots of fresh nip for my purrthday and I'm a very happy kitty.

Happy Purrthday to Me

The Mom got home just now and discovered our little party going on. She didn't mind and said I deserved to have some friends over as long as you all make sure to use the stinky pan. Thank you to all of you who have shown up so far.

So Happy Purrthday to me!!! Man...I'm 16 years old. Mind you, a very svelte 16. I think that since I'm now officially old I can be grumpy and the Mom can't complain about it.

Invitation to my Birthday Party

I have spent the past few days working on the Mom, trying to get her to let me have a big bash. She won't let me, saying the house isn't clean enough for guests, we don't have enough food, etc. Bah. So I'm going behind the Mom's back, with the Dad's help of course.

It's not going to be a formal affair, but you're all invited to stop by when the Mom isn't home tomorrow (between 8am and 2pm est). The Dad's home, playing Virtual Office again, so he'll be helping me out. It'll be BYOSG (Bring Your Own Stinky Goodness). We'll hang out, thwap some Brats, and enjoy the large pockets of sunshine coming through the windows.

See you tomorrow!

[The Dad - She'll be 16 years old tomorrow but don't say I told you so]

OK...

...it's about time they gave me my own computer. I've been trying to write all week but I couldn't get at the Mom's computer.

During the day, the Dad keeps the door to the second bedroom closed 'cause he's working "virtual office." Now is that some sort of game? You know, like little kids who play house or something? Doesn't virtual mean imagined? I hear the Dad talking all the time but I know for a fact that there isn't anybody in the room with him. Maybe the Dad is starting to lose his mind and I should tell the Mom.

In the evening when the Mom is home she's busy hogging up the computer with her "lesson plans." She says she needs to plan out what she's going to teach her students. OK, that's fair but she knows this stuff already so why is she writing it down? I mean, just teach from memory. It's not like history changes or anything.

Mom....I want my own computer. NOW. My birthday is coming up on the 15th and since you haven't gotten me any presents in five years, I think I deserve one.

Oh ya...speaking of birthdays, I plan on having a party on September 15th and you're all invited. I really want to drive the humans nuts. :)

Why I haven't been writing as much...

As some of you may have noticed, I haven't been as prolific in my writing as I normally am. You see, there has been a lot going on in the house that has needed my attention.

The big news has to do with the Mom. As you know, she has been working at the library part time and has agreed to teach two classes this fall. I'll miss having the Mom around as much but this is something she wants to do so I'm ok with it. The biggest concern with the Mom going back to work has been her disability. She knew that with both these jobs she would be making more than was allowed and was going to accept that 'cause she thought if things went wrong, she could go back on disability via an expedited way. Just to make sure, she went with the Dad to the social security office in Paterson (a really bad area too) to find out the details. They told her that if she goes back to work she'll lose all her benefits and if she got sick again, would have to apply the hard way (which takes over a year). The Mom really got upset and I had to spend the day keeping her company and trying to cheer her up.

The Mom spent a couple of days thinking about it and said she's going to do it. She said something about the universe giving hints (whatever that means) and maybe it's time to just give it a try. As she put it, it has been nine years. I'm going to stand by the Mom's decision but that doesn't mean I'm not going to worry about her. I've seen her when she was at her sickest and I don't want that to happen again. Just in case, I'm preparing an emergency fuzzy kit full of purrs, headbutts, and cuddles for the Mom.

Secret Paws Goodie Bag!!!

I got my Secret Paws goodie bag from Puss! I would've posted this two days ago but the Mom didn't get in late Monday night, which means she didn't bring the mail in until late, and she wouldn't let me open it until yesterday morning. Then Blogger was farting on me all day yesterday. Bah.

So anyways, I got this great package from Puss (who needs to blog more! *wink*). The Mom was kind enough to put me on the kitchen counter away from most of the Brats and she even locked the Doofi up in the bedroom so I could have some peace...



Of course that peace didn't last long. Here came Frankie...



He then dropped feather ball on the floor so Bailey got it...



And then...and this is really amazing...there was a rare sighting of Bomber outside the bedroom. Sightings of Bomber have never been officially confirmed so even the Mom was surprised he showed himself. I guess that was some really good nip.



Thanks for all the fun Puss!

Kitty horoscopes

I was browsing through some other kitty blogs and saw a link to kitty horoscopes over on Leif and Bonita's blog. So, I decided to check it out. Since my birthday is unknown, the Mom gives a guestimate of September 15 'cause I was about eight weeks old when she got me, which makes me a Virgo. Let's see what they have to say. My comments are in blue.

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Virgo: The Kitchen Cat

The Virgo Cat is the near-perfect domestic cat. [well duh...] Governed by the most malleable of all Zodiac Signs, this will be the creature closest to the ideal feline pet. [duh again] Thorough and conscientious in everything this cat sets his or her mind to, the Virgo Cat is a joy to have around...except when he or she is being critical. However, laziness annoys this feline more than anything and any owner who is not up with the birds, preparing breakfast for the Virgo Cat, will be left in no doubt as to what this feline thinks of such slovenly behavior. Physically, the Virgo Cat possesses an intelligent yet critical expression which can create a dismal appearance. [so this is where I get the Evil Eye from, eh?] From behind and in profile, this will be a handsome cat and to those who can ignore the disdainful sniffs and raised eyebrows, this feline can be attractive. With a wiry body and strong, muscular build, this cat is athletic and agile. Most of the time, the Virgo Cat will worry his or her owner to death from continually trying to do too much. Indeed, this is not a totally unfounded fear since, every now and again, the Virgo Cat will suddenly collapse upon the carpet, apparently breathing his or her last. Fortunately, this turn of events does not last long and the Virgo Cat is soon back in action. [well we are great actors] This feline is also a victim to allergies in many instances and the tender skin of the Virgo Cat often reacts adversely to flea powder. To have a feline ruled by Virgo as a family member is something like having a little guilty conscience who will continually remind his or her owners of where they are going wrong. The Virgo Cat is fussy...particularly when it concerns food...and when the supper bowl is placed upon the floor, this feline's expression seems to ask: "Is it pure?" Nothing which comes out of a tin will be satisfactory...nor will leftovers. [I'll eat Stinky Goodness but only the best Stinky Goodness] Only freshly-cooked fish or chicken will be tolerated, and then only when it is delivered with thoroughly-scrubbed hands. It is essential that the Virgo Cat be served his or her meal in the same place and at the same time every day. [so true...] He or she will also react in a negative fashion to any sudden change in diet, and harsh smells (such as air fresheners or cleaning chemicals, for example) will often bother and offend the Virgo Cat. [Other Brats tend to offend the Virgo Cat as well]

This feline is fanatical about keeping clean and may spend more time preening than any other cat in the Zodiac. There are times when the Virgo Cat tends to drive his or her owner to the point of distraction, but banishment to the garden might ease the situation somewhat. Outside, with nature at paw's reach, this feline will forget all his or her problems and hang-ups. Birdwatching or other type of nature study will quickly relax the Virgo Cat, while giving the owner some breathing space at the same time. [outside is overrated. Been there, done that, bored with it] However, it would truly be foolish to expect this feline to catch any mice. The Virgo Cat is hopeless when it comes to hunting and would much rather play than kill. [hmph...I've killed a few mouses in my life. I am a great huntress no matter what they say] Most relationships involving the Virgo Cat are basically shallow. He or she will be too concerned with planning upcoming moves to develop deep feelings, unless the companion in question happens to be a dog...the Virgo Cat adores canines [what freakin' planet is this person from? I freakin' hate dogs. Big dumb drool monsters] and has even been known to prefer dog food to fish. [ya, right. I don't think so]

A dog governed by Capricorn makes the best companion for this feline [again, what drug is this person on?]...in much the same way as a Capricorn human usually proves to be the most sympathetic owner [my Gemini and Pisces ones do just fine thank you]. The Virgo Cat also relates well to those ruled by the Sign of Taurus. If there is no room for a dog in the family, then a Taurus-governed parakeet will provide the Virgo Cat with hours of amusement [or lunch]...leaving he or she with less time to nit-pick at the behavior of an owner. Being intuitively aware of what is needed and more than happy to oblige [ya right...NOT], the Virgo Cat is a perfect companion for the blind and hearing-impaired. It is not unusual to find this feline perched upon a sunny windowsill, where he or she can keep a careful eye on the little feathered fellows visiting the feeder. [and show me a cat who doesn't do this?]

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Hmmm...I'll take most of what this person says with a grain of salt. They got the perfect, smart, and handsome parts right but the rest is something out of a bad acid trip. Me like dogs? Ya, right. And I love to spend my days playing with the Brats, sharing my toys, and jumping in the bathtub to have the Mom give me a water bath. Geeze. I should give the person who wrote this a good thwap upside the head.

MY squillion

Guess what? My squillion Naranja came yesterday! I finally have an ally against the Brats and she's all mine. Thank you House of (Mostly) Black Cats and their mom for sending Naran to me.



And here's the link to their mom's jewelry site so you better go visit it 'cause she's a nice human.

On a different note, the Mom decided that she's not only going to be working at the library, but she'll be teaching TWO classes at the college. It will affect her disability but she really wants to try to get back to work. I'm proud of the Mom 'cause I know she's scared about going back to work but she is still going to try. Go mom! Also, she really wants to save money so we can all move to a bigger place (and where I can possibly have my own room away from the Brats). Just as long as she makes sure to buy the really good Stinky Goodness for me with some of that extra money I'll be happy.

Busy Mom

The Mom has been busy lately, which is kind of annoying to me. I mean, how is she supposed to devote all her attention to me if she's doing other things? Doesn't she understand that I'm the priority here.

Anyways, the Mom got not one but two jobs. She said "when it rains, it pours" whatever that means. The first job she got is as a library assistant. She does love books so that would be the perfect job for her. I don't know why she loves those things so much. There aren't any moving parts or anything else fun to watch with them. I know 'cause I tried to see what she was staring at. The only thing I found they are good for is sleeping on but the Mom doesn't do that. Well, except really late at night when she sometimes falls asleep with the book, but she doesn't sleep on it just next to it.

The other job is teaching a college class at one of the local colleges. She's really excited about doing this. So am I. That means she brings out all her really fancy clothes, which are nice and soft with cool fabric, the night before and I get to sleep on them. I don't know why she gets mad when I do that but why would she put them out the night before if she didn't want us to sleep on them?

I just hope that she remembers I'm number one when she's home and I want her to make up for any lost attention time.

You don't call...you don't write...

I know, I know. I haven't written in a week. Honestly? I just haven't been in the mood to write. It happens sometimes. The Mom calls it "writer's block." I just call it "no mood to write." Why do humans have to give such fancy names to simple stuff? Go figure.

Anyways, I've been tagged by quite a few folks so I shall get off my tush and fill out the questionaire....

Here are the rules of this tag: The player of this game starts with "5 weird things/habits about yourself ". In the end, you need to choose 5 people to be tagged and list their names. The people who get tagged need to write a blog about their 5 weird things/habits, as well as state this rule clearly, then tag 5 more victims. Don't forget to leave your victim a comment that says "you're tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

Five weird things and habits, eh? Hmmm....

1. "Happy Tail" - When I'm in a really good mood, I make "happy feet" on my tail. I find it very comforting, while the Mom says it's just too cute. *rolls eyes*
2. I don't like my ears touched. For the past five years or so, my ears have been really sensative. The Mom doesn't know why nor does the V-E-T. No mites, no junk in my ears, my eardrum is ok, no problems. However, whenever my ears get touched, I paw at them like crazy.
3. The tip of my tail was broken when I was a very young kitten so the last bone in my tail is at a 45 degree angle.
4. I love chewing on plastic bags. I can't remember the real reason why I started, but I do it now to drive the Humans nuts.
5. I have mastered the art of the Evil Eye.

OK, now is there anybody left to tag? It seems like everybody has done this. Well, if you haven't done this yet "TAG! You're it!"

Mwuahahahaha

Well, the Annoying One is suffering. The Mom couldn't find a low-fat Stinky Goodness so she decided to just stop giving him any moist food. It is so nice to eat the Stinky Goodness all by myself (well, Frankie too but he's not annoying) and hear the Annoying One whining from the bathroom where the Mom has to lock him up while I eat. It's such a pleasant sound. Ahhh.

And yes, the Mom said that I need to gain weight. I have kitty Irritable Bowel Syndrome so I lost a lot of weight and the Mom is trying to fatten me up a bit. I don't mind though 'cause this means more Stinky Goodness for me.

Update on the Annoying One

The Mom spoke to the V-E-T today and it looks like the Annoying One is healthy. All his blood levels are good so it's not a hyperactive thyroid or anything fatal. Dr. D. thinks it's either that his food has too high a fat content, which is giving him the squirts, or he has what I have: annoying bowels. Wait? What? Oh sorry...irritable bowel syndrome. Ya whatever.

This can be a good thing for two reasons. The first is that this means he won't be getting prime Stinky Goodness any more. The Mom will have to give him less fat (thus less tasty) goodness. Ha. The second is that if the change in the food doesn't work, he'll have to take a pill twice each day just like me. Either way, he suffers. Ah my day has gotten so much brighter.

Uh oh...

They say bad things come in threes, right?

This morning, the Mom took the Annoying One to the V-E-T. For me, that's not a Bad Thing 'cause it means he's out of the house for a while. However, he has been sick. He's got what I call the "squirts." Not only does he have diarrhea, he makes this "squirts" all over the place, especially when the Mom picks him up. Personally, I think it's the most hysterical thing 'cause he makes the noises too.

But the Mom is afraid he might be really sick which is why she took him to Dr. D. Now, Dr. D. is a nice lady but her assistants are the torture wizards with the shots and stuff, so I had to feel bad for him. Dr. D. thinks he may have a hyperactive thyroid 'cause he lost a lot of weight too but he's eating up a storm (I should know 'cause he always tries to steal my food). We'll know more tomorrow when the blood tests come back.

The second Bad Thing is that the Mom has started her rounds of baths. Tonight Bailey got it. She's the one who gets the most baths 'cause she's too fat to clean herself and she's a big poof ball. Usually if she's only going to do a couple of us, she does it all in one night. This time, though, she only did Bailey and mentioned that she'll bathe one of us a night until we're all done. This means I'll be getting a bath. YUCK! I'm a cat. I don't need to have water baths, but the Mom has it in her head that I'm getting yellow. Bah.

OK...

...maybe it is too hot. The Mom told me that yesterday a bunch of records were broken 'cause of the heat. New York City hit 102 and Newark hit 100. That with the humidity meant that it was like an oven outside. The Mom even opened the door to have me feel how hot it was outside. It was YUCKY! Ack. She said I should appreciate the fact that we have a/c and can keep cool. Fine. I concede. However does she still have to keep it this cold? There has to be a nice medium somewhere. Bah.

You want to do WHAT?!!!

You would think after 15+ years on this planet that I might have the Mom figured out. Ha. It's bad enough that she's trying this exercise thingie and in the process hurt her knee, but now she's looking to get a...GASP...job. Oh why? She doesn't have to work and she seems to have fun doing the school thingie, but now she feels like she needs to do more. Her thinking is that if she gets a job, even part-time, it will help us get a much bigger place to live in. Well, that's a good idea, but does it have to involve work? Geeze.

Personally, I think it's a terrible idea. Beside the fact that I hate anything that involves work, I'm afraid her depression will kick in and make her sick again. Also, while she explained that she only wants to work a few hours a week, that means there will be those less hours for her to keep the Annoying One and the Brats away from me. I am so against this work thing it isn't even funny. The Dad works and that should be enough. The Mom needs to stay at home and take care of me and serve me. Isn't that what they are supposed to do?

We're having a heat wave...

...but you couldn't tell in our house. Noooo. The Mom and the Dad have all the a/c cranked up on high to keep the house "cool." Hello? It's freakin' freezing in here. I need to curl up under the dirty clothes in the laundry basket to keep warm. How is it that these hairless apes are always so hot while my fur-covered self is always so cold? Makes no sense.

On a lighter note, the Mom hurt her knee exercising. She's not sure what she did but she's been popping a lot of pills and talking about seeing the human V-E-T. She must be in a lot of pain 'cause a) she hates taking pills, and b) she's not too fond of the human V-E-T either. I keep telling her to just sleep for a couple of days and she'll be fine but she never listens to me. Silly human.

Why bother?

The Mom recently joined a gym in order to lose weight. So now she's going every couple of days to do stuff that makes her sweaty and stinky and causes her pain. Why? Why do humans torture themselves constantly by "working out?" Can't they just be happy with the way the gods meant them to be?

Personally I don't like the fact that the Mom is trying to lose weight. I like her just the way she is: comfortable. She's got lots of padding that is comfy to sleep on and to make happy feet on. If she lost this weight, she'd be all skin and bones. Who wants to curl up with a skeleton?

So Mom...give it up already. You're just causing yourself a lot of grief and pain when you can just stay at home and make a really nice pillow for us fuzzies.

Secret Paws

The Mom went out and got all these cool kitty toys, including lots of nip. I was about to dive into the bag when she stopped me. "No, Ayla. Those aren't for you. There for your Secret Paws pals." Bah. What? I get no Nippy Goodness? What kind of evil woman are you?

After about five minutes of me giving her the Evil Eye she finally bowed down and gave me a catnip ball. She claimed she "bought extra" for us, but I know deep down inside that no human can overcome the Evil Eye. This technique is one of the many reasons that us cats are superior to those hairless apes.

Oh ya...she'll be mailing out the Secret Paws gift tomorrow so someone should be on the lookout for their goodies soon.

The Dad's New Job

The Dad left for work this morning for his first day at his new job. It's about freakin' time. I knew he got the job but he went so long before starting that I was afraid my constant supply of Stinky Goodness was in jeopardy. Don't scare an old girl like that!

Another nice thing about the Dad working is that he gets up early again, which in turn means the Mom gets up early. You know what that means, right? I don't have to wait as long in the morning to get my Stinky Goodness. Whoohoo! I like the Dad working. Keep it up!

Snarky-ism of the Day

To protect your ideal place on the Big Sleepy Spot when a human approaches, lie on your back and act all cute. Then, give a purr-filled meow with a loving look at your human. They will be so ridden with guilt about moving you that they will occupy a different spot instead.

Inconsiderate...

...little snot! This morning as I was enjoying my Stinky Goodness, the Annoying One came over and started eating out of my bowl. I wasn't even done yet! What's worse is that he still had food left in his bowl. Thankfully the Mom was there to yell at him and I was able to finish my breakfast. All I know is that if he does this one more time, he's going to get a serious thwapping.

Note to the Annoying One:

Even if you think I'm done with my food, do NOT sneak over and try to eat the food left in my bowl. If you do, I will go back and start eating again even if I'm full. You will not get my food.

Helping Brandi's Mom

I know how hard it can be to be in a house when the human isn't working. Luckily, the Dad and the Mom are only going to have to suffer a month without the Dad working.

Brandi's mom isn't so lucky. Her mom has been out of work for a while so Oreo and his mom are working out a way to help her out. Please visit his site and do what you can for them. Thanks!

Present for Kukka

Since today is Kukka-Maria's one year blogiversary, I knew I had to get her something different and special. Since she liked the Pillow Monkey so much, I went out and got her one. Here it is Kukka!



Sorry about the fuzz on it. I tested it out first to make sure it was comfortable enough for you.

Happy Blogiversary Kukka!

Note to The Mom:

The pillows are mine. Not yours, not Loki's, not the Dad's. Mine. M-I-N-E. If I'm there first, you may not do anything to remove me 'cause...well...I was there first. And they are mine.

Oh ya. And the Pillow Monkey? He's mine too.

An Update on the Dad

Well, it looks like I won't be begging on the street for Stinky Goodness. The Dad has gotten two job offers, both of which will pay enough to keep me comfortably rolling in the nip and Stinky Goodness. I was getting really worried when the Mom said that she almost bought me the store brand of Stinky Goodness to save money. Ack! That just isn't right.

I know the Mom is happy about this. She's the one who handles all the money and she kept on getting really sad looks after paying all the bills. I haven't seen that look in ages. Along time ago, before the Mom met the Dad, she was really poor. She had lost her job 'cause she got sick with the Depression and her disability checks barely paid the rent, nonetheless anything else. I remember she even put her own needs aside, including food, to make sure we were taken care of. We didn't have Stinky Goodness back then, but she made sure we always had food in our bowls. I never want her to go through that again.

Anyways, I've gotten used to a certain standard of living and those two humans better make sure they keep it up.

Now this...

...is more like it. The Mom left all the windows open and finally turned the a/c off for a few hours so the temperature is somewhat bearable. Here is a picture of me lounging around on the Dad's pillow on the big sleepy spot.



Oh no. Aw come on Mom. Don't turn the a/c back on. It was just getting nice. Noooooo....

Monkee!!!

Get out of my basket. It's MINE. Not yours. Mine. Go away.

Yes mom...

...I purposely ate too fast so I could throw up on your clean socks.

Geeze.

Enough already...

...with the crash-a-booms.

I know it's a holiday where humans love to play with their boomie thingies, but it's been four days already. Enough is enough. The Mom explained to me that today is the official holiday, so I asked her why the booms have been going on since Friday. "Well, each town celebrates on different days." Why? That's kind of stupid. Isn't the holiday only one day? "Yes, but it has to do with town regulations or something like that." OK, fine then. So who is regulating the kids in the neighborhood running around with the really LOUD boomies? How is a girl supposed to get in a good nap if she's woken up every fifteen minutes by a loud boom? Geeze.

To top it off, it seems like Mother Nature wants to join in on the act too. We had some really loud crash-a-booms with lots of rain earlier. That didn't help my nerves either, which have been totally fried since Friday.

This is a stupid holiday.

You would think...

...that with the Mom being sick (again), that the stupid humans would turn off the air conditioner. But noooooo. "It's too hot outside." Hello? You're sick. Do you know what that means? You need to keep warm and get fresh air into the house. In order to do that you need to turn off the a/c and open the windows. Difficult concept? I think not.

At the very least, it is too cold in the house for us kitties. Even though we have fur coats some of us do get cold. So if you're not going to do it for yourselves, than at least turn the darn a/c off for us. OK? Don't make me throw up a hairball on your pillow.

TUNA!!!!

The Mom made a tuna sandwich and guess what? She not only gave us bowls of tuna water, but she left a bunch of tuna in bowl so we could all have some. Whoooohooo! The Mom never does this. Ya, she'll leave some lickings in the bowl, but never a whole bunch. She says that we needed some spoilin' after she heard about Tiffy. I love the Mom.

Now I'm Mad....

The Mom was updating some of my favorite blog links when she showed me the story from 5 Cat Style and the Flyer. It seems that a really stupid and mean human decided that a kitten was too much of a hassle and brought it to the SPCA, lying that it was a stray, and poor little Tiffy was put to sleep. The Mom was crying when she read the story and me? I'm just plain mad. How can some stupid human do something like that to a cute innocent kitten. OK. So she was pooping in "inappropriate" spaces. Hello? We're animals. When we do stuff like that it usually means we're sick or trying to make a point. You don't put us down for something that small. Heck, I constantly poop just outside the litter box just to get back at the Mom for making me live with eight Brats. Do you see her running me off to the shelter to get rid of me? No.

Personally, I wish there was some way to lock people like this up and put them down. It's only fair. If they have no compassion for someone as cute as Tiffy, well they should be slung up from their privates and all the cats in the area should be able to use them as a scratching post for the rest of their lives. Nah. Even that's too nice for them.

I'm going to hug the Mom and be thankful I have people who care for me.

A Good Thing

I have discovered a very Good Thing: grilled Stinky Goodness. The Mom picked it up the other day as a "change of pace" as I was getting really sick of the stuff she tried feeding me. Oooh is this new grilled Stinky Goodness yummy! I want more. GIVE ME MORE!!!

OK

If you're going to keep the pillows in anything other than a perfectly flat horizontal position, then you'd better expect me to yowl right in your ear until you fix it.

Hmph.

The Dad has been getting phone calls from recruiters for the past two days so things are looking good in that area. The Mom is still sick but she's going on line and helping the Dad find jobs to apply to. This is good 'cause when the Dad finds a job that means the Stinky Goodness keeps on coming in, right? Right.

However, there is a big problem with all of this. While everybody is focusing their attention at getting the Dad a job, they are ignoring me. Hello? Aren't I the most important person in the house? I can forgive the Mom part of the time 'cause I really don't want to be near her when she's throwing up. But still. They are completing forgetting my existence. I need more than just food you stupid humans. I need to have attention lavishly poured on me. Why can't they seem to get this. Hmph.

Bad Week

This is a really, really bad week for us right now.

First, the Mom got a really bad stomach flu She has been sick since Monday night and is still really weak. I guess twelve hours of pooping and puking will do that to a human. I've been sitting watch with the Brats, keeping an eye on her. This is the one time we don't hiss or fight 'cause the Mom is too important to us.

Secondly, the Dad got laid off from work today. This isn't good. It means no Stinky Goodness for a while so I'll just have to make do with the dried stuff. Blech. The Dad is really stressed out though and all of us are worried he'll get sick too. Two sick humans would be really bad. Then again, this job had been making him sick anyways 'cause his stupid bosses were working him too much, so maybe this is a Good Thing in disguise. We'll see.

Now I'm Mad....

It's bad enough that the Mom forgot to go to the store today to get Stinky Goodness so I'll be without for 24 hours. I do have dried food, but that's not the same.

The two humans went out to dinner for steak and THEY DIDN'T BRING ANY BACK HOME FOR ME!!! Can you believe that? Considering that I did not get my Stinky Goodness at all today, they should've bought an entire filet mignon home for me, but did they? Noooooo. How rude. What do they bring back? Salad. What the heck? I may just have to poop on their pillows now.

Frankie

Frankie is home and seems to be recovering well from his little ordeal to the V-E-T. A little too well if you ask me. Last night he actually tried to sleep on the Mom's pillow. I don't think so. It's bad enough that I've been forced to share it with the Annoying One. There is no way I'm going to allow one of those big moose cats to take my spot. There just isn't enough room. So, I taught Frankie a lesson and gave him a good whap upside the head. That got the point across. He may be deaf but he's not stupid.

One down...

Well, Frankie's gone. The one Brat that I actually like has left. Bah.

Oh wait...what? He's coming back? Damn. I was hoping that the Mom was slowly going to start getting rid of the Brats with the newest one going first. Oh well. Supposedly Frankie has some health problems, including bad teeth, so the Mom brought him back to his old family so he can see his old V-E-T. She said that he'll be back tomorrow night. And here I thought I would start getting the place to myself. Double bah.

The Mom has been spending the afternoon procrastinating. She doesn't want to do her homework so she spent her time reworking the "Flock O' Fuzzies" blog. She says it's still a "work in progress" but you can visit it at:

http://www.hockeycat93.com/blogs/flockofuzzies/index.html

Why she doesn't spend time spiffing up my blog is beyond me. Heck, more of you humans read my blog. Bah. Well, at least she got rid of that stupid pink color.

Sleepy Day

Usually it's on rainy days that everybody sleeps but today I think everybody is wiped out.

The Mom is out like a light. She had a really rough week with her depression and school. I know she's been doing a lot of reading and spending time at the computer. The class she's taking is online which she vowed she's never going to do again if she can help it. So, I'm just letting her sleep. The poor thing needs it. Also, it's the least I can do since she didn't once forget to give me my Stinky Goodness.

Frankie is all wiped out too. He went to the V-E-T today. One of his eyes is dialating more than another and that has the Mom all freaked out. The V-E-T did a whole bunch of blood work that came out fine, but he still has to go in for his ears to be checked and to get a chest x-ray. For a Maine Coon, he's an ok cat so I want him to be healthy. He's the only Brat that's smart enough to leave me alone.

As for me, I'm just glad it's not raining today. My bones needed a break. All this dampness has been a serious pain in my tush. Literally. The Mom said it'll be nice over the weekend so I'm looking forward to three days without the arthritis acting up. Yippee.

Um ok...

Something has got the Mom really ticked off. Since last night she's been going on about some guy Conklin and what a stupid idiot he is. Anybody know what this is about?

[The Mom: go to my blog and you'll see what I'm ranting about]

Oh. Hockey? Again? Doesn't this sport ever end? It's almost summer for pete's sake. Doesn't the ice melt?

Oh ya...

...the Mom says "Go Oilers!" whatever that means.

Ya, ya...

I know, I know. I'm sorry. I've just been feeling like poop lately. It seems that Mother Nature wants to wreak havoc on my poor old bones. Winter was bad enough, but then it started getting warm and I started to feel ok. Then, for the past couple of weeks it started feeling like August already with it being too hot and way too humid. Can't an old girl get a break? I just want warm and not damp. Is that too much to ask for? Bah.

On top of that, the Mom has been hogging up the computer again. She is back at school taking a summer class. Geeze. She just graduated and now she's back at it. One of these days she'll take my advice and just nap all day long.

Anyways, she's taking a class in criminology. I asked her what the heck that was about and she said it's about finding out why people commit crimes. Boring. Honestly, I think what people need to do is nap more often and enjoy a few ounces of catnip every day. Hey, it's legal and there's a large supply of it so it's not like you need to go out and steal it. Plus it makes me feel very happy. The Mom just turned around and laughed at me. Did I miss something?

Well this sucks

The Mom has decided that Frankie, the newest Brat, is going to have Stinky Goodness with me and the Annoying One. She said that he doesn't have many teeth left so he needs the softer food. Bah. You know what this means? I've got to fight another cat for MY Stinky Goodness. This big doof is just as bad as the Brats. The minute he's done scarfing down his food, he sticks his nose in my bowl trying to eat my food! I did thwap him a couple of times to get the point across, but no.... Bah. I yearn for the day that I have the Stinky Goodness all to myself.

Photos of the Mom's Graduation

The Mom wants me to post up some photos of her graduation, so here they are:


This is the Dad and the Mom


The Mom with her silly mortar-board thingie.

Thank you!

The Mom decided on the "Another Degree, Another Loan to Pay" for her mortar board. She asked me to thank all of you for the really great ideas that made her decision even harder.

Last night she had an awards ceremony because she received an academic award in animation. I asked her if she got any Stinky Goodness out of it but she said all she got was a bad dinner and a stupid piece of paper. And she got all dressed up for that? Bah.

Today is her graduation. The Mom doesn't seem to happy about it. I think her depression is acting up 'cause I know she was jumping up for joy when she got her silly black robe and hat. She says it's 'cause she doesn't like the crowds and it may rain today, which would mean everybody would be jammed up in the gym. Hundreds of smelly humans in an already smelly place? I wouldn't want to go either. She should just stay home and give me pets. Ya, that's it. Then we'll both thwap the Annoying One. That always makes me feel better. Hmmm...maybe I'll go do that now.

::prances away to thwap the Annoying One::

Need some ideas...

The Mom is graduating from college...again...on Friday. I say again 'cause this is her third degree. She seems to be collecting those as well as cats. Anyways, she has decided to be silly and write something on her cap. She's a little up in the air as to what she wants to do so she asked for my help. Personally I would just write "Give me Stinky Goodness" on it but she said nobody would understand that.

The degree she's getting is in Computer Animation. Here are her thoughts so far:

• A Dream Come True
• Another Degree, Another Loan to Pay
• w00t (whatever that means)
• 4 teh win!
• You can never have too many degrees
• Professional Student on board
• So much time, so little to do

Let me know what you guys think or if you have any other suggestions.

P.S. The Mom corrected me saying that she's going to paint this on the mortar board part of her cap. Supposedly this is some stupid tradition that goes back to when she got her first degree.

Another Brat?!!!

Oh lord help me. The Mom and Dad came home with yet another Brat. Like we need any more? The Mom explained that the ladies who gave us our Maine Coons were moving and needed to find homes for their older cats. The one they wanted us to have is Moose's brother, Frankie. Now normally I would have to poop on both their pillows, but I really liked Moose and I miss him dearly. Maybe this Brat won't be too bad if he's anything like Moose. Also, he's 10 years old so I really don't have to worry about kitten antics with him.

So welcome Frankie to our ever expanding family...

Knew it was too good to last...

Well, the Annoying One is back to his old antics. I knew it wouldn't last long enough.

Now, you guys need to know something: I wasn't mean to Kukai in any way shape or form. I've had dental work done myself so I know how yucky it can be. Also, he truly wasn't suffering since the Mom made sure that he had some good pain killers. But just because he was miserable, it didn't mean I had to be miserable as well. While he was cowering in the living room, I was prancing around the house, enjoying my freedom. I didn't have to worry about him pouncing on me or trying to steal my food. It was pure bliss.

And it lasted one whole day.

Now, he's even WORSE than he was before. I don't know what the V-E-T did to him but he's happier now and even more annoying. Yes, it is possible. Bah. He's more vocal and he's doing his little rabbit hopping imitations all over the place. Plus, he's taking my spots again. Double bah. The Mom is estatic, saying that his teeth must have been really bothering him before they were removed. She also said the $1,000 she paid for his dental work--the V-E-T's around here aren't just evil but expensive as well--was well worth the money. She should speak for herself.

And of course, the Mom had to take a picture of the two of us. She said it was a "rare moment in history" because we weren't whapping each other.

Oh, and it gets worse...but that's another story for another day. I'm going to hide in the closet for a bit.

Poor Kukai - NOT

Yesterday, the Mom took the Annoying One to the V-E-T. When he came back, we found out that he not only had his teeth cleaned but also had seven teeth removed! Even though the Mom made sure to get pain meds for him, he really is miserable.

What does this mean for me? Happy days! Whooohooo! The Annoying One is going to leave me alone and I'll have my pillow all to myself. *does a little happy dance* A girl knows when to take advantage of a situation.

Why?

Why do humans torture themselves so?

You would think that after all the hell the Mom put herself through with school these last few months she would take a break. That would be smart, right? Well, the Mom is being stupid again. This time, she stopped taking her sleepie medication. She has this weird thing called insomnia which means she can't sleep. Thankfully us cats don't have that problem, eh? So her human V-E-T gives her this special sleepie medication to help her. She takes it every night but she says that after a while it stops working so she has to not take it for a few days for it to work again. Unfortunately, this means that she doesn't sleep for those few days and she gets really forgetful and cranky.

The last time the Mom did this, she forgot to give me my Stinky Goodness a couple of times. This time, I'm making sure she doesn't do that again. The minute she wakes up, I'm in the kitchen reminding her very loudly to feed me my Stinky Goodness. The Annoying One is helping as well as he's even louder than me. There is no way that she could miss our reminders.

P.S. Thanks to all of you who commented in my last post. It was nice to be reminded that I do have a lot of friends out there. Just don't tell anybody I told you that. I have a reputation to keep.

Goodbye Sweet Friend

Today I just found out that sweet Norton has crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I didn't know him very well but from what I've read about him, he was a great cat and an even greater friend. You will be missed sweetie.

It's always so sad to read about friends passing. I lost my best friend so long ago. His name was Xanadu. He was a big dumb tabby but had a heart of gold. When the Mom brought me home as a tiny sick kitten, he took care of me, keeping me warm and protecting me from Boo Boo. He crossed the Rainbow Bridge in 1998. Then, my other friend Moose passed away last year. People wonder why I'm so darn grumpy. I've lost all the good friends I've had in my life.

Where have I been?

Ah yes, I've heard that some of you have been worried about me since I haven't written in so long. Thank you for your concern but I'm just fine. If you're going to yell at anyone, yell at the Mom.

For the past month, she has been hogging the computer doing her animation and rendering, whatever the heck that is. I say "it would be nice if you let me use the computer every once in a while" and she just ignores me. I then say "it would be nice if you let me get my own computer" and she just laughs. She laughs. Bah. She did say that the semester ends today for her so I can use the computer as much as I want now 'cause she's sick of seeing it. Well if you're so sick of it, why don't you just give it to me? She laughed again.

Is there some sort of joke I missed?

A Blessing

Today, the Mom did the laundry. I hate laundry days 'cause I lose my nice sleepy spot in the basket and it takes days for it to fill up again to a really comfy level. You understand my annoyance, right?

Well, today something strange happened. When the Mom came back from doing the laundry, she put the basket back in the closet and then put clothes and sheets into it. I must've had a shocked look on my face because she said "Mommy has too much laundry to do in one bit so I did half today and will do the other half on Monday. Enjoy." I just couldn't believe it! I don't have to suffer through the weekend with a sparsely filled laundry basket. Oh my. I'm just so estatic I don't know what to do.

Ah, I know what to do! Where's the Annoying one? *prances away to give him a good thwap*

Silly humans

Finally I get to use the computer. The Mom has been hogging the thing up for the past four days doing her animation. I don't know what it is except that she has to finish some kind of project for some kind of festival and it's due tomorrow. All I do know is that she has been so busy working that I haven't seen much of her for the past week. When she is home, she's tired and cranky. I hate it when she gets like that 'cause she tends to tends to forget my Stinky Goodness.

The Dad hasn't been much better. He's been working all this overtime lately that I haven't seen him either. He claims that all this work will help us out somehow. Unless it gives me more Stinky Goodness and pets, I don't care.

What's worse is that with them not home much, the Brats have the run of the house. Not a good thing 'cause they think they own the place, especially the Doofi. Loki has even started sleeping in the laundry basket. The Mom tells me that it's only for another couple of days but I'm starting to get seriously pissed off. Bah. They better give me lots of pets to make up for this.

Apologies

OK. The Mom said I went a bit overboard yesterday in my post about the Annoying One. Bah. She even made me apologize to him. Double bah. What does she expect? I'm tormented by him day-in, day-out, so what do you want me to do? Give him kisses? I don't think so.

Speaking of tormenting, the two Doofi really went off their rockers this morning. They were running all over the apartment, knocking things every where. Boy was the Mom pissed! She was complaining it was bad enough they were losing an hour sleep (don't know what that's about), but the Doofi woke her and the Dad up really early. Hello? Welcome to my hell. What do you think those two Brats do when you go out? They just don't sit there all cute. The Mom should've named them "Destructo-Brats."

An enjoyable day

Guess what? The Mom took the Annoying One to the vet yesterday. Oh it was so nice not having him in the house for the afternoon. Of course, the Mom got all mad at me for gloating. She said the pest had an eye infection and needed his shots. HA! Nasty injections and stuff put in his eye. Can this day get any better?

OK, it may sound like I'm being a bit vindictive but a girl has to enjoy the small pleasures when they come. I mean, this Brat has been a pain in my tushie for almost ten years. A girl needs some sort of revenge.

[The Mom: Ayla's going to the vet herself in a couple of weeks so she'll get her just due.]